Mugglenet.com's Harry Potter Should Have Died - Emerson Spartz [18]
The Freeze-Frame Ending (PoA)
The third movie is considered by many to be the best movie produced so far. However, its ending was atrocious. The freeze frame the producers chose before rolling the credits was a snapshot of Harry’s face in a wide-open tree-frog laugh. It was so hilariously awkward that the MuggleNet switchboards exploded with fan reports from all around the world confirming that theater audiences actually erupted with laughter at the ridiculousness of it. Oh, Hollywood.
“He Was Their Friend!” (PoA)
When Harry goes to Hogsmeade and overhears Fudge and McGonagall saying that Sirius Black was the one who betrayed his family, it’s more than he can handle. Hermione and Ron later find him sobbing in the snow under the Invisibility Cloak. As the camera zooms in on his emo face, Harry shrieks,
“He was their friend... And he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!! I hope he finds me. Cause when he does, I’m gonna be ready! When he does, I’m gonna kill him!” Unfortunately, then the camera lingers on Dan’s angry clenched teeth. Cringe.
Verdict
Moaning Myrtle’s hiccupping laugh in GoF sounds like someone choking to death on a Subway $5 footlong, and you just wish you could pull out a gun and kill her again. Dan Radcliffe is blushing with embarrassment not because he is butt-naked in a bathtub, but because he’s talking to a plastic egg. The ending of CoS, by contrast, has every illustrious actor in the movie doing the same thing—smiling until their faces show the pain. The basilisk could not Petrify viewers quicker than this cringe-worthy scene, which most fans never finish watching because it puts them into a cheesecake coma. It’s the kind of scene you hope no one walks in on you watching, lest they embarrass you like your parents did when a kissing scene came on. Verdict: The endless Hermione/Hagrid hug-a-thon is definitely the cheesiest movie scene.
Who (besides Voldemort) is the character you hate the most?
Vernon Dursley
It’s hard to think of a character in the series more hateful than Harry’s uncle, Vernon Dursley, who really gives Muggles a bad name. Mean and spiteful even when Harry is just a baby, Vernon lets Petunia adopt Harry but never really treats him like a member of the family. He’s a horrible father figure, as we see in SS, keeping Harry locked in a closet under the stairs, making him wear hand-me-downs, forcing him to do most of the housework, and almost refusing the admission letters sent by Hogwarts. Although he knows that magic is real and believes that Petunia’s sister Lily was a witch, he’s in major denial and is unwilling to accept Harry’s special gifts. He makes sure the neighbors on Privet Drive believe that Harry is a problem child from St. Brutus’s Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys, which he also tells his similar loudmouth sister, Aunt Marge, in PoA. He’s an absolute total scumbag.
Vernon’s worst trait is the physical abuse he heaps on Harry, as we see in OotP when he turns purple while trying to strangle him just for eavesdropping outside a window. Vernon is definitely just as threatening to the boy’s life as Voldemort ever was. He also encourages his juvenile delinquent son, Dudley, to both physically and verbally abuse Harry. Magic is probably the only thing keeping Harry alive sometimes, with this tag team of goons at home. Sadly, Petunia goes along with Vernon on everything, favoring her Popkin while starving Harry for both food and affection. But at least when Vern tries to toss Harry out on the street after a Dementor attacks Dudley in OotP, Petunia has the courage to stand up to her