My Fair Lazy - Jen Lancaster [24]
“I can’t wait to see how you react when you smell the salt air for the first time. Bird, open the windows before we get there!” Poppy demands.
When we arrive at the beach, Blackbird throws the car into park, and we each hump a huge load of supplies over the dunes past the beach roses and saw grass to the boardwalk. We’ve got chairs and coolers and blankets and towels. We haul sandwiches and beverages and umbrellas. Beach toys and first-aid supplies balance out our loads. Our fruit is bountiful and fresh and water stock plentiful. Given our massive stash, you might think we’re planning to colonize the beach. It’s like we’re on Survivor: Mommyblogger.
Seriously, the upside of traveling with a bunch of moms is that they’re prepared for every eventuality. You’ll never find yourself wanting for a Kleenex or a hard candy or hand sanitizer (or a corkscrew) with this group. The downside is today isn’t helping me gear up for Survivor, because the contestants only get to bring one small pack. I remember on the first season52 contestants were allowed to bring one small personal item like tweezers, but eventually they stopped that, knowing someone like me would probably bring my Kindle. The worst of the seasons was China, when they let contestants take only the clothes on their backs. About halfway through, production had to give everyone swimsuits because their underpants appeared to be rotting.
Wait, why do I want to be on this show again?
Anyway, none of us is paying attention to where we’re going; we’re all just watching Angie’s face. The boardwalk is interminably long and our loads ridiculously heavy, but we know the effort will have been worth it when Angie sees the water for the first time. I want my Amish in the City moment!
Poppy and Blackbird lead the assault, so the second they spy a strip of salt water, they begin to walk backward. Moments later, when Angie finally sees the ocean, her expression is . . . fairly neutral. She merely gives the vista a quick once-over and tells us, “That’s exactly what I thought it would look like.”
Seriously, she must have more laundry than we can imagine if the entire Atlantic fails to bowl her over.
We choose a prime spot close to the water to set up camp. Most of us want to get a little color before we get wet, so the four of us settle into our chairs while Angie strips off her cover-up and heads down to the shoreline.
“She’s going! She’s going!” Wendy cries.
“Shh, quiet! We don’t want to spook her!” Blackbird commands.
Maybe we didn’t get our big, dramatic reveal when she saw the water for the first time, but surely swimming in the ocean will be significant. The four of us lean forward in our chairs as Angie sizes up the situation with one hand on her hip and one shading her eyes.
“How’s she going to approach this? I mean, she’s never seen a wave before, and they’re breaking big and hard today,” I say.
Blackbird adds, “I saw riptide flags posted farther down the beach. Powerful surf out there.”
Wendy agrees, “This water has to be superintimidating. And freezing. Mostly freezing.”
We hold our breath as Angie ventures in up to her ankles and clutch one another as the water reaches her knees. Will she be shocked at how cold the Atlantic can be, even in late July? Will she wade in, only to do a Baywatch-worthy run out the second rippling water hits her thighs?
Angie glances to either side for a moment and then the greatest thing in the world happens—she just shrugs at the majesty of the whole new world before her and dives in headfirst.
We lose our minds.
Blackbird begins shouting first. “What? WHAT? Did you . . . Have you ever . . . I mean . . . HOLY SHIT!”
Wendy’s up on her feet, mouth agape and eyes wild. “Did you see that? Did you see that? Did! You! See! That?”
I can’t believe she just dove in. I’m stunned. That’s the absolute opposite of what I’d do if this were my first time. I’d test the water