My Journey with Farrah - Alana Stewart [14]
That night we celebrated. Ryan, Farrah, and I curled up on her bed, ate spaghetti Bolognese—one of the few dishes Farrah liked at the clinic—and watched movies. Ryan had wanted to see some strange French art film with subtitles, but I insisted on lighter fare: Meet the Fockers. We needed something to lift our spirits and take our minds off the seriousness of this trip.
June 14, 2007
I’m having such an anxiety attack. My son Sean just got back to L.A. and found out the cops are issuing a warrant for his arrest over an altercation he was involved in. They’ve charged him with assault and battery along with several other things. It was actually one of his friends who started the whole fight, not him. Sean was the one who got singled out because he was more high profile. And Sean won’t rat out his friend, so he’s taking the rap for it. I’m frantically trying to find an attorney for him. This was another thing that Farrah and I could spend hours talking about: our boys. We never dreamed that one day we’d have this in common.
I was with Farrah and Dr. Jacob when Farrah got her first chemo treatment. Dr. Jacob explained that she’ll have the chemo once a week, and they mix it with liposomes to get into the cancer cells easier. At the same time, they do a local hypothermia (freezing) of the liver to destroy the cancer. At the end of next week she goes to Frankfurt for another liver perfusion and maybe the laser surgery. Tomorrow she gets a special injection that we hope will genetically rearrange the RNA of the cancer cells and cause them to die.
June 16, 2007
This past week has been crazy: Sean’s arrest, my frantic attempts to find an attorney for him, all the drama around Farrah, and now this situation with George. He’s here at the clinic for his annual checkup; he goes to the clinic like other people go for a facial.
This doctor from Düsseldorf arrived who has been treating him for his knees and shoulder. Farrah and I jokingly refer to her as “the stripper doctor” because she’s blond, curvaceous, and not at all what you’d expect a doctor to look like. She arrived to treat different people at the clinic and moved right into George’s room (next door to me, by the way, which I think is a little indiscreet). Suddenly I realized that the doctor is sleeping with George, a fact that he neglected to tell me. I know that George and I don’t have a romantic relationship anymore—it’s been over thirty years since we divorced—but we are close and, in some way, still very connected. I would never do something so insensitive to him.
And my ex Rod Stewart’s getting married again. I suppose he’ll be having more children; he collects them like he does Galle lamps. I’d never want to be with him again, that’s for sure, but it’s just that everyone seems to be able to find new relationships and move on with their lives except me. I feel overwhelmed with my children’s problems (even though they’re grown), my best friend’s cancer, and my own fears of the future. I’m uncertain about how I’m going to survive physically, emotionally, and financially.
June 23, 2007
Yesterday, Farrah had to go to Frankfurt for her second chemo perfusion, and Ryan decided that he would take her. He knew she’d had a relatively easy time with the procedure the first time we’d gone, so he anticipated it being a piece of cake. Farrah was a little nervous about him accompanying her, since I was the one who knew the routine. But beyond that, I know Farrah didn’t want to have to worry about Ryan worrying about her.
“Don’t you want Alana to come, too?” she asked him tentatively.
“No, it’s okay. I can handle it,” Ryan replied in a very manly, take-charge kind of way. Famous last words.
I only found out