My Journey with Farrah - Alana Stewart [78]
“I can’t thank you enough,” she said softly.
“Just get well. That’s all I want,” I said. I kissed her again and left the room.
Ryan was on the terrace talking with Howard’s wife, a pretty, hippie-looking young woman named Ahava. I talked to them for a few minutes and then left for home and my doggies. I felt like something very special had happened this evening. I so very much want to believe that Farrah can get well. I don’t know how it could happen, but I feel like with God, anything is possible.
May 23, 2009
I met Howard at Farrah’s this afternoon. She seemed genuinely glad to see him. She is clearly stronger, especially her voice. I let them talk alone until Dr. Piro arrived to see how she was doing. He felt she was doing much better, too, although he probably thinks it has more to do with the antibiotics than the healing work. I know in my heart that Howard is doing something miraculous. I believe he is actually helping to heal their whole family dynamic, which I’m sure has a lot to do with anyone getting sick. I know that for me it has played a huge part in my health. When Ashley or Sean was drinking or using drugs and I was fearing for their lives, I was a wreck physically. That kind of stress and the hopelessness that accompanies it is devastating to a mother. Marianne Williamson once told me an old saying: “You are only as happy as your least happy child.” I know that for me it’s true and I know it’s true for Farrah. She loves Redmond so much, and to see him struggling with drug addiction has been a huge emotional and, I believe, physical trauma for her. I think Howard is helping her let go of a lot of emotional baggage and that perhaps she can be free to heal now.
I also see a huge difference in Ryan. I think he really gets from Howard how important it is to be loving and positive with Farrah and he’s doing it. One thing I do know: no matter what the ups and downs have been, this man loves her with all his heart. I feel different as well. I feel this tremendous love for her when I’m around her. Not that I didn’t always love her, but this is different somehow. It seems to fill my complete being, and it’s not just with her. It’s with everyone and everything. Of course, I have my doubts. Can this man or anything else really heal all these tumors that have taken over her body? Is this too good to be true? I try not to entertain these thoughts and get back to my faith. I can’t afford to hold on to any negative thoughts or feelings, especially now.
May 25, 2009
I went over to Farrah’s around seven thirty. She was awake, but not very happy. Ryan was his usual loud, energetic self, asking her if she wanted to go out on the terrace in the wheelchair, or watch a Dominick Dunne murder mystery, or have some barbecue chicken and mashed potatoes. She opted out of all three, so he turned his attention to helping the two nurses attempt to put together the bed bars to keep her from getting out of bed and falling. She kept moaning softly like she was really uncomfortable.
Shortly after I got there, Howard arrived and came into her room. She seemed to brighten when she saw him. I told him I had brought over the coconut oil he’d asked me to get, so he showed Ryan how to rub it in very gently onto her back and down her spine. Howard took some of the oil, warmed it in his hands, and gently began rubbing her arms, talking to her all the while in his southern drawl. She was answering him very lucidly in a much stronger voice than she’s had for ages. He had her move her arms around and stretch them and she did it, making punching motions. We were astonished, especially since she’s hardly been able to raise food to her mouth.
Then he stood over her and raised his hands and started that strange rocking motion with his head while looking upward. After several minutes, he asked, “How do you feel?”
“Much better,” she said.
“You see,” he said. “You’re getting well. You’ll be playing tennis in no time.”
“Do you really think that could happen?” she asked.
“Without