My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [35]
4. Keep it clean. As we get older it seems we all accumulate stuff. How you organize and maintain your stuff says a lot about who you are and what you most value. By taking a few minutes each week to keep your three main spaces in order—home, office, and car—you show the outside world that you take care of your business. This makes other people more willing to trust you with theirs.
I learned this lesson the hard way when one of my mentors asked for a ride to his office after our lunch meeting. The entire time we were driving he was giving me “constructive criticism” about what a mess the backseat of my car was. At the time, it was covered in books, boxes, mail, and folders. He said with a backseat like that I shouldn’t need an office! I took the hint and cleaned up my act. Stay organized. That way you inspire trust and can keep track of your progress.
TO PLUG IN: Every Friday, set aside twenty minutes to organize the space in which you spend the most time: home, office, or car.
RECEIVING SIGNALS
READING BETWEEN THE LINES
I bet that at least once you’ve been in the uncomfortable position of incorrectly interpreting another person’s signals to you. When this happens, you wind up at the wrong location for an appointment, you think someone is flirting with you when really she’s just being nice, or you get offended when no disrespect was intended.
Getting your wires crossed always leads to stress—even if it’s for only a short time—until someone straightens things out. To make sure you avoid this unnecessary stress and get the message right the first time, learn to become a world-class signal receiver.
To Receive the Right Information, that Allows to You to Make the Right Response, Do These Four Things
1. Keep your ears open. The fastest way to make a new friend or turn your enemies into allies is to actually listen to what they are saying. This is different from hearing someone’s words and nodding along while you glance around the room and wish you were talking to someone else. Actually listening requires paying attention to what the other person says and how he says it. All these signals add up to you getting his point the way he intended.
The easiest way to actually listen, instead of only halfway hear, is by adding three simple habits to your plugging-in conversations.
Habit 1: Allow the other person to make her key points without interruption.
Habit 2: Summarize her major points back to her. (So I think what you are saying is…)
Habit 3: Ask a specific question or two about her main point.
These three habits are so simple, but most people won’t add them to their conversations, no matter how important the new contact. The reason is simple: Most people would rather hear themselves talk than really listen to someone else! As a result, they miss out on valuable information and a more meaningful connection that could open the door to otherwise unreachable opportunity.
TO PLUG IN: When you meet a new person, say his name three times during the conversation and you will remember it.
2. Say it ain’t so. Even if you’re the nicest person in the world, you’re going to have conflicts, debates, arguments, and disagreements. These verbal sparring matches test your critical thinking skills and help you refine your view of the world. They also allow you a chance to spread your opinions and work out new solutions to difficult problems.
When you’re in a disagreement, go into it clear about your intentions. You can argue to prove yourself right (winning for your ego) or you can argue to learn (so your path ahead becomes easier). If your goal is simply to prove yourself right, you may leave the argument as the victor but not necessarily any wiser. If your goal is to be better informed than