My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [37]
The worth of your handshake shows how you live your life.
TO PLUG IN: If you’re not sure you can keep a commitment, let the other person know in advance. This way he can make any necessary preparations.
IMAGE IMPROVER
How you physically receive the signals that other people send to you tells them how they should respond next. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever seen your boss smirk before answering when you ask for a promotion, seen your parents laugh when you ask for money, or someone move closer to where you’re sitting after you make eye contact.
How you react physically to the messages other people send your way can be so revealing that the other person doesn’t need to hear your verbal response. Based on your physical reaction alone he can sense what you’re going to say before you say it. All the more reason you must think, not only before you act but before you react.
To Physically Receive Information from Other People so You Stay Plugged In, Do These Three Things
1. Face the truth. As you listen to other people, your face and body naturally respond to what you’re hearing. These physical expressions suggest to others whether you believe them, disagree with them, are interested in them, or just want to ignore them. You send all these revealing signals without opening your mouth (unless you’re yawning). It’s amazing that the look on your face can say so much about what you’re thinking while you’re still thinking. Your reaction to other people’s signals is virtually written from cheek to cheek.
It may be easier to think about how you physically receive information by reversing the situation: If you’re talking with someone and she keeps looking around the room, what does that say about her feelings toward you? Not interested or maybe nervous. If you’re talking with someone and he rolls his eyes, what does that say about what he is thinking? Yeah, right or possibly no way. If you’re talking with someone and she raise’s one eyebrow, what does that imply? That she is shocked or possibly skeptical.
By learning to pay attention to your expressions while you’re listening, you can subtly take control of a conversation. Prove this to yourself by listening to one of your friends tell a story and respond to the story with unexpected facial expressions. When he says something positive give him a look of sadness, when he says something negative pretend you’re happy. When you have counterintuitive reactions to his story he won’t know what to do except look confused! You took control of the conversation without ever saying a word.
This is also where the shock factor comes into play. When someone makes you an offer you don’t like, the more shocked and outraged you appear physically, the more uncomfortable she become’s. Try this next time someone says something that offends you; it can be hilarious. The opposite is also true. The more natural you appear receiving an offer, the more natural the other person feels making the offer.
TO PLUG IN: Next time someone tries to sell you something in person, pay close attention to your facial and body language. The less interested you appear physically, the faster he will lose interest in you!
2. Proofread.
Dear Harvard Admissions,
In considering my application for admission, you should know that I’ve wanted to attend Harvard since I was a little kid. I have had Harvard posters on my wall since second grade. I know that my academic achievements reflect my potential for success at your fine institution. Crimson is my color and VE RI TAS is my T-shirt! For these reasons and many more you can see why Stanford is the right place for me.
What?? A one-word typo just made an admissions committee chuckle. They gave someone the opportunity to apply to their school, and she accepted this opportunity without proofreading her application. This type of thing happens more often than you think because many people use the same essay for completing multiple college applications.