My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [42]
Many times, when a mentor and I are talking, she’ll share word-for-word an insight she learned from her mentor. This inspires me, because it reminds me I’m part of something much bigger that I have a responsibility to continue. When you become a protégé, you extend this mentoring chain of unbroken knowledge.
The tremendous value that mentors bring to my life makes it difficult for me to listen to the ready-made excuses people our age use for not getting a mentor. Most people are smart enough to recognize the benefits of having a mentor, but they get stuck when it comes to actually going out and getting one. The twentysomethings I’ve interviewed who said they wanted a mentor but never got one usually hid behind three flimsy excuses:
1. I’m afraid of asking someone to be my mentor only to have her turn me down.
2. I’m too old to get a mentor.
3. I don’t know how to get a mentor or what to do with one.
These excuses are all weak. Most people would be honored to be your mentor, and those who refuse do so because they’re not right for you or where you want to go. From the mentors I have, and have had, I know that each mentoring relationship is different. But my own all started by my asking someone I respected for help and then growing the relationship at its natural pace. And learning that a mentor over sixty years old went out and got an even older mentor reminds me that when you quit learning, you quit living.
Put aside any excuses you have and go get your mentor! Your future deserves it. You may eventually have several mentors, each with her own area of expertise; but one thing is for sure: they will all surface after your first mentor has pushed you forward. To get your first mentor takes effort and a little bit of faith in yourself, but probably not as much as you think. In fact, if you really wanted to, I bet you could get a mentor in less than a month.
To win this bet, I developed the Thirty-Day Mentor Magnet. I know this approach works, because I’ve used it several times and so have many people I’ve taught. Now, all that stands between you and your mentor is thirty days and nine steps.
YOUR THIRTY-DAY MENTOR MAGNET CHECKLIST
1. Decide why you need a mentor. What is it that you want so badly that you believe a mentor can provide? Do you need someone to believe in you, someone to give you advice, or someone to open doors? What can he help you do that you’re having difficulty doing by yourself? The more specific your reasons for finding a mentor, the easier it will be to recognize and attract him.
2. Create a list of people who can fill your needs. Browse your cell phone directory and see if you have anyone’s contact info who could be a potential mentor. Also consider people you may know casually, have worked for, or hung out with. Read your local paper and watch your local news to find out if someone in your town has been recognized for having what you need. If you went to college or grad school, ask your professors for suggestions. Keep your eyes and ears open at all times for your potential mentor. You’ll see her once you start looking. I met one of my mentors backstage at a rock concert!
3. Plug in beginning at the top. Rank all the potential mentors you’ve identified in order of their fit for your needs. Starting with your number one choice, decide the best way to strategically plug in with each of them. Do you have his work phone number? How can you get it? Does he hang out at a social club? How can you get in? Is he a community or business leader? How can you get past his secretary? Keep improvising different ways to reach him. Get people in your existing network to help you, too. If that doesn’t pay off, talk with people who might be clients of your potential mentor. This worked for Jimmy.
4. Ask for ten. Your potential mentor probably has lots of responsibilities, from work to family to volunteering. To grab her attention you must show up on her radar as a person of value, not a distraction.