My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [43]
5. Show your value. If your potential mentor is successful, rest assured that he had help getting there. Someone somewhere gave him a break, believed in him, or helped him out when he needed it most. Use this to your advantage by sharing what leads you to him. Be honest. The goal of your first meeting is to come across as worth his time by presenting yourself as ambitious, responsible, and full of potential. When you present yourself in this light he will want to mentor you, because you are a golden opportunity for him to build his legacy! Bring at least ten questions you want to ask, but don’t worry if you get to only a few of them. If you don’t feel that you’re connecting well with your potential mentor, ask him for the names of two people he thinks might be able to better help you. Make sure you leave after ten minutes. Send him a handwritten thank-you card the same day you meet with him.
6. Take a challenge. If at the end of your initial meeting, you feel that you mesh well with this potential mentor, ask if you could meet with her again for ten minutes. If she accepts, ask what you can do between now and then to make the most of your next conversation. Ask if she can suggest any books you should read or actions you could take before you reconnect. This is extremely important. Accept the challenge and do it! Then you will have a perfect reason to call her for the next meeting. You did what she said, and now you’re ready to talk about what you learned.
7. Take it slowly. When you next meet with your potential mentor, share what you learned from his challenge or assignment. If he asked you to read a book, tell him what you liked about it and what you didn’t. If he asked you to volunteer, tell him what you saw. This is your chance to prove you’re hungry, sharp, and worth his time. Not acting on his challenge shows him you don’t deserve another meeting. After you share your experience and catch up, ask him if he would agree to be an informal adviser to you. Maybe he would agree to get together for twenty minutes a month? If he accepts, set some basic expectations for these regular meetings. If he declines to meet regularly, ask for leads to other people who might have what you need.
8. Set expectations. Being up-front with your expectations will reduce your new mentor’s anxiety about committing to regularly meet with you. It will also decrease miscommunication later on. Basic expectations must include agreeing to confidentiality and how you will arrange meetings. My mentors and I tend to meet once a month. I usually set up the meeting through voice mail or e-mail. I bring the agenda and make sure we finish on time. Each meeting usually lasts about thirty minutes. Remember to turn off your cell phone, be on time, bring an agenda, ask questions, and listen.
9. Create an adventure. The more quality time you spend with your potential mentor, the sooner she will grow into your full-fledged mentor. Like any relationship, a mentoring relationship takes time and work, but the benefits are extraordinary. After my mentors and I have a good working relationship, I invite them to some type of community event or other activity where we can hang out in a more casual atmosphere. I have taken my mentors to charity fund-raisers, gone on a double date with them and their spouse, provided them a seat of honor at my birthday party, and traveled with them across the country. These out-of-the-office experiences provide great opportunities to get to know your mentor on a more personal level.
In the nine years that I’ve had mentors, they’ve made my life richer in so many ways. They’ve helped me grow my business and my spiritual understanding. They’ve connected me with my financial adviser, accountant, attorney, agent, and doctor. They’ve been there to celebrate when I bought my first house.