My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [48]
With the rape behind her, twenty-four-year-old Lindsay is now completing her second year of law school. She plans to become a prosecutor so she can help other victims regain their power. Here’s how she’s chosen to let this crime in her past influence her future:
After seeing the worst side of a human being, I got to see the best side of so many other people. Everyone has gut wrenching days when they get knocked down and shaken to their core. These sorts of things stay with you, no matter your age. I now see that if I hadn’t confronted this trauma in my past it would have kept resurfacing in my life. By facing it head on, I trust myself once again.
This crime taught me to fight for what I want. I was put to the test. I lived. Now I know that whatever is thrown my way, I can get through it.
THE SHADOW YOU CAN’T OUTRUN
Lindsay was able to overcome an unimaginable trauma in her past by choosing to face it head on. By doing this, by confronting her demons, she was able to resume her life already in progress. Too many of us allow our past to deflate our courage, creativity, and spirit, when we have the choice to use what we’ve been through—and survived—to set us free.
Hidden within your past experiences are vivid examples of your character, choices, abilities, and attitude. You have memories of double-dares you still can’t believe you accepted. You have memories of achievements that built your confidence and sucker punches that you want to forget. You also have memories of laugh-out-loud good times you want to bring back.
You may disagree, but taking a closer look at your past experiences reveals that everything in your life up to this point has happened for a reason—even if that reason was only to lead you to today.
The reasons behind your most difficult experiences may still seem painfully unclear. However, each of your setbacks, failures, and traumas can be turned into strength, which can propel you toward the Future Picture you most desire. This makes embracing the experiences of your past one of the best cheat sheets you have to improve yourself.
YOU BECOME WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO CARRY FROM YOUR PAST
The memories that make you feel most naked are the ones with the strongest emotional charge and unexplored meaning. These intense memories often involve embarrassing experiences, soured relationships, and personal failures. These emotionally powerful memories are the ones you must make peace with, learn from, and let go so you can move on.
Up to now, you may have chosen to hide from these tough memories rather than face them. Some of you have done this so well you are practically experts at hiding tough memories from yourself and others. Hiding from painful memories will not make them go away. In fact, the more you try to block out emotionally difficult memories, the more you stay prisoner to them. To put your toughest memories behind you for good, you must choose to make peace with them. When you have made peace with your toughest memories, you know they exist but that they exist only in your past.
PEACE BY PIECE
To come to terms with your past, you must be willing to confront it head-on. One way to do this is to get it all down on paper. When you chronologically chart the good and bad times in your past, you can see a roller-coaster ride of extreme highs and lows. These are your defining moments—the gut wrenching setbacks and inspiring breakthroughs that rocked you to your core. They are forever embedded in your memory, your view of the world, and your spirit.
The defining moments you can recall quickest and clearest are the ones most emotionally connected to who you are today. The vividness of these easy-to-relive memories makes them the ideal starting place to learn and grow.
Take a moment now to identify the defining moments in each decade of your life.
The three strongest memories you have up to age 10 (fifth grade) are
1.
2.
3.
The three strongest memories you have between ages 11 and 20 are
1.
2.
3.