My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [50]
Your toughest memories, as horrible as they may seem, still led to positive outcomes—probably many positive outcomes. Sometimes you just have to bravely look beyond your hurt to find them. Once you have made peace with the toughest parts of your past, you are free to learn from them, let go of them, and get a move on. Your past is over. You are the present.
You will know you have freed yourself to boldly reach for your future when you can honestly say, “It was important that _______ happened, because it helped me be as loving, resilient, and passionate as I am today.” With this statement, you tell yourself you have the freedom to focus on the present, so you can create the future you want.
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BOUNCED: My past determines my future.
CASHED: I can put my past to work to create the future I want.
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POP QUIZ: ARE YOU WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS?
Have you ever met someone younger than you who seemed impossibly wise for his age? What gave him such street smarts so early in life? Did he overcome some daunting challenge? Did his education or career take him around the world? Did he get married young? Did he finish a marathon? Did he leave home early?
My interviews with peers who seemed wiser than their age taught me that they are no smarter than you or I. They just did a better job of turning their past experiences—good and bad—into practical knowledge. They paid attention to their mistakes so they would not repeat them, and they paid attention to their successes so they could repeat them. When you pay attention to your past you have to pay only once.
For every minute you spend learning from your past, you save hours of future frustration.
Start getting wise beyond your age by answering these questions:
1. What is the biggest lesson you’ve had to learn the hard way?
2. What constructive criticism do you get most from people you respect and trust?
3. What have you repeatedly done that keeps you from success?
4. What do you do that successfully keeps you on track during difficult times?
5. What do people say are your two biggest strengths, skills, or talents?
6. What has been your greatest achievement so far?
Your answers to questions 1–3 help you see strategies and actions that have not worked for you. Knowing this tells you to not repeat them. If it didn’t work the first twenty-five times, it’s time to try something new! Possible examples in your past: not being willing to meet new people, overcommitting so you set yourself up for failure, sabotaging relationships by not being trustworthy, running up crazy credit-card bills and then not paying.
Your answers to questions 4–6 help you see what strengths you can rely on in your relentless push toward your Future Picture. These strengths will help you when you’re part of a team and when you’re forced to stand alone. Keep building on your strengths, and they can more than compensate for your weaknesses. Do what works! Possible examples in your past: working well on tight deadlines, resolving conflicts among other people, being a good friend, sticking to an exercise routine and a budget.
Answering these six questions in your own words gives you a good idea of why you are where you are. Pay attention to your weaknesses, and you’ll see where to improve. Pay attention to your strengths, and you’ll see where to create more success in your future. The key is to pay attention now so you, too, have to pay only once!
TIE UP LOOSE ENDS OR FIND YOURSELF IN KNOTS
The final step toward putting your past behind so you can reach for what’s possible is tying up your loose ends. Loose ends