My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [59]
Step 4: After you’ve each shared your perspective and motivations, tell her why your decision is so important to you. Let her see your passion for living your dream. Ask her if she is willing to try being supportive. Thank her for caring enough about you to consider your view.
Step 5: Take a few days to think about her comments. Then make your decision. Make your decision out of purpose and wisdom, not pride or stubbornness. Be clear on how you will measure your progress. Be open to trying different paths if this one doesn’t bring you the joy you want.
Step 5.5: Keep your parents involved throughout your journey. Choose a way to regularly communicate with them that is effective and easily maintained. This might be a weekly phone call or e-mail. Lack of communication leads to lack of trust, which leads to hurt feelings. Treat your family as you want them to treat you—and eventually they will!
4. The Location Excuse
Wherever you live—be it rural Kansas or East L.A.—I’m sure if you look hard enough you can find a way to use your ZIP code as an excuse for why you should give up on your dreams. Maybe the people in your town are small-minded, maybe there are no colleges nearby, maybe your neighborhood is unsafe, maybe everyone looks and acts the same way, or maybe you just see no path from where you are to where you want go. The point: We can all find something wrong with where we live.
Typical Defeatist Declaration: I wasn’t born on the right side of the tracks, so no one will ever take me seriously.
From the X-Cuse Files:
D’anica has seen what survival of the fittest is all about. She lives in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of a decaying Rust Belt city. She’s seen a friend of hers shot. She’s seen family members arrested. She’s seen what a neighborhood looks like when there are no jobs. She’s seen way too much for someone barely twenty, and she’s seen enough to believe there is no way out. The only path she sees is to not be a snitch, build a reputation for not backing down, and try to live as long as she can.
Moving Beyond the Location Excuse
Step 1: Identify two ways to turn wherever you live into an advantage to you reaching your Future Picture. Maybe you live in a tough neighborhood, so you have street smarts. Maybe you live in a small town, so you know how to use gossip to your benefit. Maybe you grew up in the suburbs, so you are good at handling peer pressure. Get clear on the strengths you have because of where you live or where you grew up.
Step 2: Go online and explore your options. If you don’t have a computer, go to your local library, workforce development center, or borrow a friend’s. The Internet shatters the ZIP code barrier to information!
Step 3: Take a hands-on approach. If you want to become an actor in L.A., drive, take a bus, or fly to L.A. Hang out and see if you like the city. If you want to start your own business, find someone who lives near you and owns his own business. Take him to lunch and learn how he did it. If you want to go to grad school, visit as many as you can. Sit in on classes and buy a bumper sticker.
Step 4: Interview two people who have made the jump from your geographic location to where you want to go. Most organizations, from entrepreneur associations to colleges and employers, will connect you with people from your geographic location. These people will know what you need to learn so you can make the jump toward your dreams.
Step 5: Start opening doors from where you are now. Enroll in a community education program, apply for a loan to start your business, ask successful