My Reality Check Bounced! - Jason Ryan Dorsey [65]
BEWARE FANTASY FEARS
Your internal alarm system was designed to keep you safe in a world filled with potential dangers. However, if you allow your fears to run wild in your imagination they can end up actually keeping you from your most important, meaningful dreams. How so? When your fears become so strong that they steal your courage, creativity, and resilience they have become fantasy fears. These irrational, overgrown fears keep you from taking the calculated steps and corresponding risks necessary to get where you want to go. In extreme cases, your fantasy fears can grow into phobias that can imprison you in your own mind.
People suffering from phobias can become so terrified that they can’t sleep, go outside, or throw away their trash. I knew one person who was so scared of leaving her house that she never went outside for ten years! When her family finally convinced her to leave they were shocked to find that she had saved every newspaper and piece of mail she received during her self-imposed confinement. If you or someone you know might have a phobia, get professional help. That mental maze is not a challenge you want to face alone.
For most of you, though, you don’t have anything close to a phobia. Your fears are much more in line with Stephen’s. His fear of failure started small and grew as his business failures did. He then hid from this fear of failure by taking a safe job. Settling for this safe path only gave his fear more room and time to grow. He finally reached a breaking point. He could continue following his fear toward safety and dissatisfaction or he could choose to stand up once again for his dreams. At that life-defining moment, he chose his dream of being an entrepreneur over his fear of failure. This put him back on a riskier, less predictable path, but it was the most direct route to his feeling alive with purpose.
How did Stephen find the courage to roll up his sleeves and face his fear? The same way you can. He acknowledged his fear, and he took action in spite of it! This gave his passion for being an entrepreneur the chance to overtake his insecurities, which came from his previous failures. In little time he was back in control of his confidence, direction, and future.
For many of you, your fears are just strong enough that they keep you from chasing your bigger, more meaningful dreams. Each day you choose not to confront these fears is one more day you add to their strength. Why? By not confronting your fears you silently show that on some level you believe they are accurate. This gives your fears the room to grow stronger and become more difficult to break.
HEAD GAMES
You’ve seen what your imagination can do for you. Here are three examples of what it can do to you:
1. During high school you ask your teacher a question during class. The other students think it’s dumb and laugh at you. Your imagination could turn that experience into a fantasy fear based on rejection that keeps you from asking questions when you need help. Not asking questions could lead to you not asking for help at your job, which causes you to make a big mistake and ultimately get fired. This mistake would have been easy to avoid if only you weren’t irrationally afraid to ask for help.
2. Your dad gets laid off from his job when you were a kid, so the bank forecloses on your house. Your imagination could turn that bad experience into a fantasy fear based on failure that keeps you from ever buying your own house. Not buying your own house could keep you from one of the best financial investments you can make. You end up staying a renter for life when the entire time you could have been a home