Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [169]
"This!" she said fiercely, tugging me upward. "Yes!"
That, too.
I let her do what she wished, let her take me and have me, surrendering to her insistent fingers probing inside me, her lips and tongue lashing me to new heights, until I arched my back and came so very, very hard for her. And it was good—stone and sea, so good! I wished it would never, ever end.
But it did.
"Moirin." Her voice was low. "I have to go."
I struggled to sit upright. "Please, my lady! I don't want to be alone. Can you not stay this last one night with me?"
"No." Jehanne gazed at me, a world of sorrow in her blue-grey eyes. "Raphael was right about one thing."
"What?" I asked.
She kissed me. "It hurts too much to stay."
I helped her wash and dress, then watched her go. I wanted to beg her to stay, but I didn't. Jehanne had been fair. She hadn't begged me not to leave her. Unlikely as it seemed, she'd given me her trust and her passion and her aid unstintingly. I didn't have any right to make this more difficult for her.
Still, it hurt.
When the door closed behind her, I felt alone and bereft. It was almost a mercy when the profound weariness that Naamah's blessing had driven away came crashing back upon me. I thought briefly that I should send for a dinner tray, but I was too tired to eat. And I thought with a twinge of guilt that I should have gone to see my father instead of spending long hours wallowing in pleasure, but I pushed the thought away. He would understand better than anyone else. I would see him on the morrow. I damned well wasn't leaving without saying farewell to him. The Emperor's daughter in faraway Ch'in had waited many long months. She could wait a few more hours.
I wished I could see my mother, too.
The thought brought tears to my eyes and made me feel sorry for myself. I blew out the lamps, curled up in my lonely bed, and wept myself to sleep.
In the morning, it all seemed unreal. Only a day ago, I'd been preparing to fulfill my oath to Raphael, penning a desperate letter to Jehanne. The misbegotten summoning of Focalor, Claire Fourcay's death, my near-death… events of such magnitude should have cast a shadow over my life for a long, long time. Instead, my world had been turned upside down.
And unreal as it seemed, there was proof awaiting in the form of a message from Master Lo Feng bidding me to join them at the City's southern gate at noon. I sent a polite reply saying I would be there as soon as possible and began to get my affairs in order.
There wasn't that much to be done. Jehanne had given the Palace staff orders to assist me in any way I required. I recruited a maidservant to find traveling trunks and pack my clothing. There wasn't much . else. A few pieces of jewelry, including my mother's signet ring. Some cosmetics. My bow and quiver, my letters of introduction from Bryony Associates in Bryn Gorrydum.
That seemed a long time ago.
I'd arrived in the City of Elua with little else, a ragtag creature from the backwoods of Alba with a small gift for magic and a purse quickly stolen. I was leaving as the Queen's royal companion and… what?
Master Lo Feng's student?
A budding magician of a greater magnitude than I knew?
Or just a useful tool?
I didn't know; and truth be told, I was too exhausted to wonder. I forced myself to keep moving. I went to the banking house and withdrew a portion of the remaining funds from my letter of credit, reckoning I might need them.
And then I went to the Temple of Naamah.
My father was waiting for me. He already knew. I should have guessed it, knowing the way the City thrived on gossip. The King's guards had heard me give my answer to Master Lo Feng. They'd kept their silence for a while; I daresay no one wanted to be the one to break the news to Jehanne. But once I'd told her myself, tongues had begun to wag.
"Ah, Moirin, child." My father held me and let me cry on his shoulder, tears dampening his crimson robe. I'd done the