Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [170]
It was a piece of irony that I wept now because he was dear to me, and Jehanne was dear to me, and I didn't want to leave.
My father lifted my chin and asked me the same question the King had asked. "You're sure?"
I got myself under control. "Aye."
He kissed my brow. "Naamah's blessing on you, love. I'll pray for your safety every day and hope for your return." He paused. "You will return?"
"I don't know." My voice was small. "I don't even know why I'm going. I only know I have to."
My father shook his head. "They say the gods use their chosen hard. I fear 'tis no less true of your Maghuin Dhonn than any other."
"It's all of them," I murmured. "Naamah and Anael, too."
He cupped my face and kissed my brow a second time. "Then you must be very dear to them to place such faith in you," he said firmly. "Whatever your destiny and wherever you're bound, I've no doubt you'll make me wondrous proud, my very strange daughter."
It made me feel immeasurably better.
"Thank you." I hugged him hard. "I'm so glad I found you!"
"So am I." My father rested his cheek against my hair, then let me go. "You're bound to leave today? Is there time to explain this tale of summoning dire spirits to me?"
"A little." I wiped my eyes. "Not much. Will you do me a kindness and send word to my mother in care of Clunderry Castle in Alba, telling her where I've gone and why? It may reach her."
"Of course." He hesitated again. "What shall I say? What is it that calls you? Your… diadh-anam, is it?"
It leapt inside me like a flame.
"Aye," I said sadly. "That's exactly right."
* * *
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
Whether I liked it or not, I was sent off with fanfare. "It's not necessary," I said to Jehanne, who had organized a royal escort to the southern gate of the City. "Truly, it's not."
"It is." Her extraordinary beauty couldn't mask her grief. There were faint violet shadows smudged beneath her eyes. Still, she held her chin high, daring me to defy her. "You're leaving a maelstrom in your wake. I'll not have it said that you were banished for your role in yesterday's doings. And Daniel agrees. So don't argue."
I didn't.
I rode beside them, the King and Queen of Terre d'Ange. My father rode behind me, Prince Thierry at his side. An entourage of guards surrounded us. And the folk of the City turned out to watch, cheering and throwing petals, reveling in the spectacle without caring why, slowing our progress.
We were late. On the far side of the gate, the Ch'in party was waiting, patient and impassive, Bao and Master Lo Feng among them, waiting.
I swallowed hard, dismounted, and said my good-byes.
To Thierry, a better friend to me than I had been to him. He embraced me hard, then turned away to hide his eyes.
To King Daniel, who had been nothing but kind to me.
My father, my lovely father.
Jehanne.
"How, my lady?" I asked her. "How do you find beauty in something that hurts so much?"
"Ah." She touched my cheek. "Because it will always be this, Moirin. I'll always be young and beautiful in your memory, and you in mine. You'll always be the beautiful witch-girl that I saved from herself and claimed for my own." Her eyes were bright with tears. "You'll never grow up and forsake me for another, never be tempted to betray me. And I'll never grow fickle and restless and seek to replace you." Jehanne wound her arms around my neck, kissing me. "It will always be this, and this, and this."
The crowds cheered.
My eyes burned. "Do you love me at least a little?"
"Need you ask?"
I nodded.
Her arms tightened around my neck. "Yes, my beautiful girl. Even though you break my heart. I love you far, far more than you deserve."
And then there was nothing left to say but good-bye, so I said it. Jehanne took my hand and put something in it, a small, hard object in a silk pouch. She