Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [182]
I propped my chin on my hands. "Why?"
"Those fighters, everyone look up to them. They do what they like. An acrobat, it's not such a good life. Not so much respect. I wanted to be a fighter. Maybe it is in my blood, I think. I wanted it like a starving man wants food." Bao smiled wryly. "Also I was in love with Brother Thunder's daughter, Lin. I was thirteen and stupid. So I ask and he say, 'You be my peach-bottom boy, I teach you.'"
"Peach-bottom… ?"
Bao gave me a sidelong glance. "Uh-huh. Brother Thunder, he say if ever I beat him fair, no more—" He supplied the lewd gesture.
I swallowed. "How long?"
"Two years." His expression was cynical. "I beat him fair. Then I ask Lin to run away with me." He shook his head. "But she was angry at me for destroying her father's reputation. People made fun of him for losing to a boy."
"Did she know about the—?" I gestured.
"No." His face softened. "Lin, she loved her father. I couldn't tell her. Too much shame for everyone."
I didn't know what to say.
"So." Bao blew out his breath and flexed his hands together. Muscles in his upper arms tensed and rippled. "I ran away alone to Shuntian. There, I fight for myself. I give myself a new name. At first everyone wants to fight me because I'm young. But I keep winning more than losing, getting better and better. There was this gang. One by one, I beat them all. It took years, but I was patient. Then one day, I beat the leader. The next day, I was the leader."
"What sort of gang?" I asked.
He shrugged. "Usual kind. We made merchants and people give us money to protect them whether they need it or not. Beat up their rivals for money. That sort of thing. Pretty good living for a peasant-boy sold to the circus."
"Oh."
The cynical look returned. "Not so sure you like me now, huh?"
"I don't know," I said honestly. "But I'm listening."
Bao looked away. "So maybe five, six years go by. Good years, I think. Anything I want. Wine, women. Whatever I like. I don't even have to fight so much. Everyone, they know I'm good. Nobody want to challenge me. One day, Master Lo, he comes to this place, the square in Shuntian where the stick-fighters meet. He says he looks for a companion for this long journey to the land of angels. Someone clever to help him in all things, someone bold who did not fear danger. Someone humble and willing to learn about the Way."
My diadh-anam flared in memory. "And you knew!"
He shook his head. "I laughed. Everyone laughed. In Shuntian we said the great Master Lo Feng has lost his mind. Why else would he ask a bunch of no-good thugs for help?"
"Oh."
"Uh-huh." He nodded. "Two days later, this boy comes to me. Some peasant-boy from the country. He asks me to teach him to fight. Young—not so young as I was, but young. Fourteen, fifteen. Still like a willow. He wants to learn from the best." Bao pursed his lips. "I made him the same offer Brother Thunder made me."
I sat up and shivered, withdrawing instinctively.
"I don't know why," Bao mused. "Only he reminds me of me. That stupid boy who wanted to be a stick-fighter so bad he was willing to do anything to learn. And I wanted to punish him for it."
A long silence stretched between us. "Did you?" I asked at last.
"No." He gazed into the past. "The boy took off his clothes. Now he looks like a plucked chicken, shivering."
I saw the memory surface in his thoughts. A naked boy, trembling, the narrow blades of his shoulders hunched in fear. And Bao…
"You walked away," I said softly. "You walked away from all of it."
It didn't seem to surprise him. "Yes. For some reason, all I could think of was Master Lo Feng's offer. Maybe he knew what he was doing after all. Maybe it was meant for me. I was clever and bold, but I had forgotten how to be humble, and I never had any teacher who was kind and wise. I wanted to be someone