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was what would happen to the house in the long run. At first, Howard was adamant that he didn't want to sell the house-either to a third party or to Cynthia in a buyout. He had put too much work into it and cared about it too much. He also thought it was going to appreciate even more, and he didn't want to miss out on that. He argued that they should continue to co-own the house for another five years and then assess their situation, and he was willing to stay in rental housing during that period if that's what it would take. But he wasn't sure that would be necessary-because the loan on the house wasn't enormous, and he had a good salary without a lot of other debt, he might be able to qualify for a loan on another small place.

Cynthia, who was inclined to make a clean break, wasn't sure about joint ownership. She knew she didn't have a choice about continuing to parent with Howard, but she didn't want to have to continue making decisions with him about financial matters. She also disagreed about the real estate market, believing the house's value wasn't going to increase much. She did want to stay in the house, though, so her position was that Howard should allow her to buy him out of his interest. On the other hand, she was worried that she wouldn't be able to afford a buyout-she'd have to take a larger loan to cover the buyout payment to Howard. She wasn't sure she'd qualify on her salary alone, and also was anxious about the prospect of higher monthly payments. The current mortgage was already stretching her budget since Howard had moved out.

They struggled over the issue until the mediator suggested they table it for a while and look at some of the other issues. He reassured them that sometimes issues that seemed very different were, in fact, intertwined, and suggested that the house question might become clearer as they resolved other things.

Expenses and Support Payments

Your MSA needs to address who will pay what to whom, and how and when. Chapters 8 and 11 explain your options for child and spousal support as well as ways you can enforce support payments. If you're going to use your state's child support enforcement agency, put something in your agreement that says so. Don't forget to include the date or conditions under which spousal support will end.

You and your spouse may have agreed to child support payments that are different from the guideline support that your state would order based on your incomes and your timeshare. If that's the case, you may need to include some very specific language in your agreement stating that you are aware that you're deviating from guideline support, why you are doing so, and assuring the court that your children's needs will be met by the support amount. Some states have laws about exactly what you need to say in your settlement agreement if you're deviating from guideline support, so make sure you find out what you need to include. Otherwise you risk having your agreement sent back to you for correction.

You can allow for future changes in your agreement by including a provision for meeting again at a certain point to reconsider the support amounts. If your children are young, or it looks like one of you is going to have a job change that will affect your income, putting in an automatic review date is a great idea. Also include a provision that any changes you make later will have the same force as your original agreement as long as they're made in writing and signed by both of you.

In addressing support, don't forget to include whatever agreements you've made about paying for college and other extra expenses.

With Cynthia and Howard, short-term needs dominated the initial discussion. Cynthia's $37,500 salary (she worked 30 hours per week but had been considering going back to full-time) was just enough to make the monthly mortgage payment, pay the utility bills, and buy groceries. All of the other expenses, including clothing, activities for the kids, transportation, and larger annual expenses, like homeowners' insurance and property taxes, were going to have to come