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By Root 1015 0

and he agreed to monitor his own emotional state and to cancel the visit if he was feeling really down. With the counselor's advice, they came up with a way to talk to the girls about the uncertainty of their visitation schedule. Understanding that his relationship with his daughters was on the line, Howard also agreed to get some counseling of his own and to consider other treatment to help with his depression. They also agreed that if Howard couldn't care for the girls himself during his visitation time (because of travel or other obligations), Cynthia would have the first option to keep the girls with her, and would have approval of any other caregivers Howard proposed. As the primary custodial parent, she didn't feel Howard should have approval over child care choices, and Howard felt perfectly comfortable with her decision making about this.

Over time, Cynthia and Howard worked out all the rest of the agreements they'd need to create a comprehensive parenting plan. The only other sticking point turned out to be the issue of Sarah's learning disability. Cynthia favored a plan to send her to private school, while Howard felt that some extra tutoring should take care of it. They compromised by agreeing on tutoring for the next school year, and then sending her to private school if the tutoring didn't seem to help.

Howard and Cynthia's parenting plan is Exhibit 1 to the sample marital settlement agreement at the end of the chapter.

Personal Belongings

You do have to divvy up personal and household items. (Chapter 10 suggests some ways to approach this.) But to keep things simple, don't list specific items in the body of your MSA. If you have already divided your personal items, you can just say that each of you will keep what you've already got. If you want to make lists of the items you're each taking, make them attachments to the MSA.

It's a good idea to state that you believe you each got things of equal value, or if the value was very different, to say so and then say how you're going to equalize it or why it's not equal.

For the most part, Cynthia and Howard divided their personal belongings without a great deal of fuss. They easily agreed that they each would keep their own clothing and personal effects. They then went through the house together to make an inventory, and sat down at the kitchen table and divided everything-including the kitchen table. Howard had already taken a few things to his new place, and they included those things on the list so that they would have an accurate value for everything they divided. Cynthia agreed that Howard could keep all of the tools, and also agreed to continue storing them at the house and to let Howard come and use the workshop in the basement once a week as long as he gave her 24 hours' notice.

As it turned out, the value of the items that Cynthia kept, because she was staying in the house, far exceeded the value of the property that Howard took with him-in fact there was about a $10,000 difference. Knowing that the issue of the house was still open, and that there were other assets yet to consider, they made note of the difference and moved on.

Cars

It's common with cars for each spouse to keep the car they usually drive, and equalize any disparity in their value by trading other property or paying cash. If you have a joint car loan, though, make sure you don't forget to include it in your division of debt and make provisions for either paying it off or transferring the debt into the sole name of the person who's keeping the car. And don't forget to do the paperwork to transfer ownership and change your insurance.

Cynthia drove a late-model Prius worth about $18,000, which they were still paying for. The car loan had a balance of about $10,000. Howard was driving a slightly older Lexus that was paid off and had a blue book value of about $23,000. Both were happy to keep the cars they were currently driving, but Cynthia worried about her ability to make the continuing payments on the Prius, which were over $300 a month.

Because the values of the two cars were almost