Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [169]
Stock certificates also require special treatment. If you have actual certificates (rather than just holding your stock in a brokerage account), you need to send the certificates back to the transfer agent with endorsements by both you and your ex-spouse on the back. Include a copy of your divorce order calling for division, and a letter directing the transfer agent to issue new stock certificates in the amounts stated in the order.
If your settlement agreement makes your spouse responsible for some of your debts, take steps to have those debts transferred into your spouse's name. Notify the creditors of the divorce settlement, and send them a copy of the divorce order that requires your spouse to pay. Legally, creditors can still look to you for payment of the debt (that's why Chapter 10 advises against making this kind of arrangement). But you can at least make a record that your spouse is responsible.
10. Follow Up on Any Name Change
If you changed your name as part of the divorce order, you'll need to follow up by making sure that all of your official documents reflect your new name. Notify all relevant agencies and companies.
Sample Letter Asking Financial Institution to Split Account
Name Changes: Who to Notify
Of course, you'll also need to notify your friends and relatives that you'll be using a different name. Some people even send out an announcement of the divorce, adding new contact information if appropriate. You probably won't find a template at your local stationery store, but making up an announcement might be a good way to symbolically put an end to the divorce process and begin your new life.
The Kid Connection
If you have kids, you are undoubtedly well aware that, divorced or not, you haven't seen the last of your former spouse. Your kids will connect you for a long time to come, probably for the rest of your lives. The courts understand this, too. Until your kids reach adulthood the court has the power to make decisions about child custody, visitation, and support.
Child Custody and Visitation
If nothing else, you'll continue to have contact with your ex as you shuttle the kids back and forth. The best thing you can do at the beginning is to comply with the court order exactly, without asking for exceptions or changes, and pay particular attention to being on time with pickups and drop-offs. As time goes by and you all settle into a routine, the changeover days should get easier and involve less stress for everyone (at least until new partners start to get involved-see "Dating and New Relationships," below).
When things get more comfortable, it will become easier to ask for flexibility in the routine when you need it, and easier to provide it when your ex needs it, as well. It's very possible that your parenting plan may need some tweaking as time passes and your kids' interests, activities, and schedules change.
Stay in communication with your ex about everything involving the kids. If you see a change coming that might require an alteration in some part of your parenting plan, such as a change in the days the school hand practices or the loss of your regular child care person, start the discussion well in advance. Don't assume that whatever makes the most sense for you will immediately be acceptable to your ex. After all, you are no longer privy to all of the factors that your former spouse must consider. These are great opportunities to practice taking the high road by being as cooperative as you possibly can about whatever adjustments are needed.
If there are significant changes in the way you or your ex wants to handle custody, you may need to go back to court to request a legal change. For example, you might want to