Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [176]
And if you never learned to cook because your spouse took care of all that, it's time to get it together and learn your way around a kitchen. Try Betty Crocker's Good & Easy Cook Book, by Betty Crocker (Simon & Schuster), for simple, straightforward recipes. There's also The Absolute Beginner's Cookbook, or How Long Do I Cook a 3-Minute Egg?, by Jack Eddy and Eleanor Clark (Gramercy).
And finally, it's important that you take care of your mental and spiritual health. Take the time to nurture yourself in whatever ways work for you-whether it's through volunteer work in your community, involvement in your local church, synagogue, or temple, a yoga or meditation practice, music lessons, a book group, or joining a softball team. There are no rules except that you need to do things that are just for you and that help you move forward and put the past behind you. Below are some resources that might help.
Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst for an Extraordinary Life, by Debbie Ford (Harper San Francisco), aims to help you use the lessons of your divorce to create a happier and more fulfilling life for yourself.
Learning From Divorce: How to Take Responsibility, Stop the Blame, and Move On, by Robert LaCrosse and Christine Coates (Jossey-Bass), encourages you to let go of the past and embrace the future by seeing your divorce as a turning point and an opportunity, not a failure.
The Beginner's Guide to Forgiveness: How to Free Your Heart and Awaken Compassion, by Jack Kornfield (audio CDs, Sounds True). A simple spiritual guide by a well-respected meditation teacher.
Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, by Dr. Frederic Luskin (HarperCollins), the founder of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, posits the theory that forgiveness is good for you and provides techniques for learning to forgive.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships, by David Richo (Shambala), is for when you think you're ready to return to the world of committed relationships-it's a guide to understanding relationships, learning appropriate boundaries, and attracting a similarly minded partner.
Finally, a well-known book on meditation is called Wherever You Go, There You Are (by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Hyperion). Whether or not you have the slightest interest in meditation, try to accept and acknowledge the words of the title. No matter what has happened in the past, and no matter how unknowable and frightening the future may seem, your present is what it is. Some days you'll just be treading water in that present, and other days you might feel all the potential of a future that is yours to create. Make the most of it!
More Great Books ....................................................................................................................... 410
Mediation and Collaborative Divorce .........................................................................410
Parenting ..................................................................................................................................... 410
Communication .......................................................................................................................411
Emotional and Psychological Issues .............................................................................. 412
Estate Planning ......................................................................................................................... 412
Finances ....................................................................................................................................... 412
Getting Divorce Information and Forms .....................................................................413
Court and Court-Related Websites