Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [65]
How do you decide whether to appeal? Your lawyer's advice will be critically important, because appeals are based on legal issues, your lawyer's specialty. However, apart from the validity of your claims, there's the issue of money. Many trial lawyers don't do appellate work, so you may he referred to an appellate specialist. Either way, your lawyer will put in anywhere from 100 to 200 hours or more preparing your appeal, at an hourly rate between $175 and $500. You'll also have to pay for a copy of the trial transcript, which can be pretty expensive (up to $500 or $600 per day) depending on how long your trial was.
In the end, it's a weighing process-how unfair do you think the decision was, how likely does your lawyer think it is that you would prevail, and how willing are you to invest the necessary resources in the appeal? If the balance on all those questions tips strongly toward going ahead, then do it. But if you're wavering on any of them, think long and hard before making a commitment. At the same time, watch the clock-you have only a limited amount of time, usually 30 to 45 days, to file a notice of appeal after your judgment becomes final.
Picking Up the Pieces
Chapter 14 is all about what to do after the divorce is final. It lists lots of practical things like transferring title to property and naming new beneficiaries on your insurance policies. And yes, you'll need to do all those things. But if you have kids, your next step is to try to move from the highly conflicted relationship you have been in for many months, and possibly years, into a relationship with your former spouse that lets you share custody of your children in the most positive possible way.
Depending on whether you are the winner or the loser in the trial-and one of the major downsides of a trial is that there can be only one winner-you may be more or less inclined to try to bury the hatchet for the sake of your kids. But even if you didn't get everything you wanted in the trial, this is the time to shake it off, grow up, and start putting your kids first. The decisions have been made, and even if you think they are wrong, you have a responsibility to comply with whatever orders the court made. Make it easier on everyone by doing that with the best attitude and spirit of cooperation you can muster.
Physical and Legal Custody ...................................................................................................151
The High Road: Agreeing With Your Spouse on a Parenting Plan .............. 152
If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Mom's House: Typical Custody Arrangements .......................................................................................................................152
Sample Parenting Plans ........................................................................................................155
How to Negotiate a Parenting Agreement ............................................................... 159
Identifying the Issues ............................................................................................................160
Helping Your Kids Cope With Divorce ..........................................................................163
Telling Your Kids About the Divorce ............................................................................164
Kids and Emotions .................................................................................................................167
Kids and New Relationships ..............................................................................................169
Making Shared Parenting Work ........................................................................................170
If You Share Physical Custody ..........................................................................................171
(Extended) Family Matters ................................................................................................173
If One Parent