Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [84]
The evaluator's recommendation is not binding on the court, but as a rule, judges give it a lot of weight-it's the only neutral information they have about your family situation and dynamics.
Choosing the evaluator
The judge might assign a custody evaluator to your case. Or the court might give you a choice of two or three people and let you either choose among them or reject one of the choices. You and your spouse may be able to agree on an evaluator recommended by one of your lawyers. If you do, the judge will probably go along with your choice.
If you're choosing an evaluator yourselves, or if you're choosing from among options given to you by the judge, ask your lawyer to get some information so you're comfortable with the choice-even if your lawyer has recommended the evaluator. (Don't question the evaluator directly, as you don't want to do anything that might negatively affect the evaluator's impression of you.) You want to know about the evaluator's experience generally, and if your family has special issues (for example, a relocation question or a child with special needs), about whether the evaluator has dealt with similar issues before. it's also appropriate to ask whether the evaluator has a history of recommending in favor of either fathers or mothers.
it's unlikely, but if none of the options offered by the court are acceptable to you after you do your research, you can ask the court to give you more options. But don't assume your request will be granted. If you and your spouse agree to an evaluation but you can't agree on the evaluator, you can hire competing evaluators. After you've read what the custody evaluation involves, however, you may he less inclined to do that.
Cost. How much the evaluation costs will depend on whether it's court ordered or voluntary. If the court orders the evaluation and you use the county's evaluator, you'll pay a much lower hourly rate than if you hire a private evaluator. A county custody evaluation will probably cost between $1,000 and $2,500, and you could pay $10,000 or more for a private evaluation.
The evaluation process. To some extent, how the evaluation goes will depend on the specific evaluator. But almost all evaluators:
• interview both you and your spouse up to three times (interviews will be planned, not unannounced visits)
• interview each child once or twice
• spend time with each child with each parent, to observe your interactions (at the evaluator's office, your home, or both)
• gather information from teachers or caregivers, doctors, therapists, and other witnesses, and
• look over your court file.
Many evaluators use psychological testing as well-for both children and parents. Some do the testing themselves and some (including a guardian ad litem who's a lawyer, not a mental health professional) send you to another professional for testing.
If anything happens in the evaluation that concerns you-for example, the evaluator appears to have a strong bias in favor of your spouse or asks questions you think are inappropriate-talk to your lawyer immediately, before the report is submitted. Concerns raised after the report is completed will be discounted if the recommendation goes against you.
What you should do if you're being evaluated
Your meetings with the evaluator present a difficult situation. You want to he yourself, yet you probably can't avoid going out of your way to present yourself favorably. That's entirely natural, and it's also natural for you to be anxious when you meet with the evaluator. Some important dos and don'ts include:
Dos and Don'ts of Custody Evaluations
Do:
• Acknowledge both your strengths and your weaknesses as a parent.
• Be truthful in answering questions about your history and current situation. Answer the question that's asked, rather than using it as a jumping-off point to state your case.
• Acknowledge the benefits to your children