Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [16]
I don’t want to get all Evita on you, dictating exactly what you should buy, but if you’re going to have only one pair of jeans, I think a good choice is a classic Levi’s 501 in the medium indigo wash. And then if you wear lots of denim, you can also have a dark wash pair, which tends to look a little dressier, and maybe a pair of white denim for summer. I don’t like any of those fancy washes, like the ones that make you look like you just sat in wet paint or like someone just sandblasted your ass. And black denim? Nuh-uh. Best left for fashion forward clergy and Shakira, unkay?
TIP
Fairy Godstylist Carson
Here’s a quick fix for one of life’s eternal dilemmas: the proper length of your jeans. If you’re a 31 waist and a 32 inseam, life is good. Just buy the size that you. But if you’re a litle bit chunkier, with a bigger waist and a shoter inseam, it can be hard to find jeans that fit you properly. I know it’s traumatizing, but sometimes jeans that are big enough to fit you in the waist don’t come in shorter lenghs, so you have to buy a pair that’s too long for you.
So then what do you do? The answer is not to cuff them, people; unless you want to look like a bad James Dean impersonator or Potsie from Happy Days. What you want to do is take your jeans to your friendly neighborhood tailor, have them cut to the proper lengh and then have the original bottom hem reattached. The bottom hem will have the original stitching, and will have wear and tear engineered into it. If you just hem the pants without putting the bottom hem back on, the bottoms of your jeans will look perfectly clean and unabraded. That’s a little too Leave It to Beaver
I also love vintage denim, which should always be in your wardrobe. You can spend thousands of dollars on it at a fancy vintage store, or you check out your local secondhand store. You can also buy new denim jeans that have been washed in certain enzymes and treated so that they’re broken in and feel like a comfortable pair you’ve had for a lifetime. Jeans should have personality.
In terms of fit, jeans are by nature a little less smart and correct than other types of pants. They don’t have to fit tightly like dress pants. I love when jeans look more relaxed, slouchy, and a little blown out.
Deciphering the Flasher
(the card on the back pocket of jeans that shows size, length, etc.)
Jeans are sometimes sized very randomly. So just because you’re one size in one brand, you’re not necessarily going to be the same size in another. Some manufacturers even add an inch or two to the waistband, just to make it even trickier. They say it’s a 30, but if you measure, it’s really more like a 32. It’s a marketing ploy to make you feel better. Then you buy the jeans because you say, “Oh my God! It’s a 30 and it fits! I’ll take ten pairs!” Nice try, world denim cartel!
Hopefully, in an ideal world, everybody’s waist size is smaller than the length. When you get to be a 38/31, it’s just a sad scenario, Humpty Dumpty. Buy the length closest to your real length. If that means you have to measure your inseam with a tape measure, that’s fine. Just do it. It’s fun working down there. Measure from the inside of the crotch, where the rise seam ends, to the bottom hem. And whatever you measure, that’s probably your size, because most denim is already preshrunk. All this “shrink to fit” stuff is crap. If they fit your body in the store, odds are they will fit correctly after washing.
The wash refers to the color and fade of the jeans, which can