Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [15]
TIP
Fairy Godstylist Carson
One of my general rules of shopping is that if you really want to know if it fits, unfortunately, you’ve got to try it on. But when it comes to the waist of your pants, there is a great shortcut I’ll allow. If you’re in a pinch, and you really don’t want to try on a pair of pants, take them by the waist and wrap them around your neck. If they fit around your neck, they’ll almost always fit your waist. Notice I said almost. Not foolproof, people.
Seat
The seat obviously refers to your tush, fanny, rump, or whatever cute pet name you choose to call it behind closed doors. The seat should fit so that you can tell you have a butt, yet stop short of being so tight that the pants accentuate your butt crack. An important distinction, people.
Okay, so now your pants will fit you. But what kind of pants do you need? Everyone needs khakis, corduroys, and jeans in their closet, so let’s start there. Casual pants will be the bulk of your pants wardrobe.
CASUAL PANTS
Khaki: Friend or Foe?
Right now our great nation is in the midst of a raging khaki epidemic. Everyone and their brother thought that casual Friday meant they should go out and buy ninety pairs of Dockers. With all due respect to Dockers, guys need to mix it up a bit.
Sure, you should absolutely have some khakis, but make sure they’re not pleated. My friend Lauren Weisberger says the devil wears Prada; I think the devil wears pleated khakis. There’s nothing cleaner and crisper than a nice flat-front khaki pant, except maybe an extra dry Ketel One martini. Khakis should always fit lean and mean, never baggy or bulky.
It’s also important to remember that not all khaki is created equal. Most people don’t realize there’s a difference between fall and winter khaki and spring and summer khaki. Khaki for the colder seasons will come in a range of colors, from warm golden tones to browns, and will be a heavier weight. For spring and summer, your khakis should be lighter weight cotton twill, and will come in a softer color palette—bone, sand, and putty tones. Summer khakis can even be almost white. I know—crazy, isn’t it?
Corduroys
Corduroys are just a teensy bit dressier than khakis. Think of them as a cool alternative to jeans. Wear them for casual Fridays, with a sweater and an oxford shirt, or on a date, in place of denim. Much like denim, there are loads of different washes and finishes available. I recommend you have a pair of corduroys in a medium wale. I know that’s a scary word, but wale just refers to the actual width of the “cord” in the corduroy. A super skinny wale will look a little bit dated, and a super wide wale can tend to make you look fat. And because I know you’re going to ask: Yes, you can wear cords in summer.
Jeans, the American Dream
Jeans are an American icon, so we’re going to spend a lot of time on them. And anytime you say icon, you have to think: “classic”. There’s so much out there in denim for you to choose from, it can get almost overwhelming. But you really shouldn’t be getting mixed up with all that tricky novelty fashion denim. It’s only going to get you into a lot of trouble, so proceed with caution. Sure, it can be fun to try something a little different, like a pair of designer jeans with a fun wash or pocket treatment, but stuff like that comes and goes like gypsies in the night. By the time you get home with the new style, it’s already over. So why take the risk? Besides, we don’t want to overdo your metrosexualization. If you are a straight man, there is absolutely no reason for you to be spending $285 on a pair of designer jeans when you can get a pair of good old, traditional five-pocket, button-fly Levi’s 501s instead for around $50. For most guys that’s all you’re ever really going to need.
Personally, I’m a big Levi’s fan. Levi’s