Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [14]
The only time pleats are acceptable (are you listening, people?) is when they’re part of an old Hollywood glamour kind of suit, by a designer like Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers, etc. The pleats tie into the heritage of the suit. Other than that, there’s just no reason for them. Ever.
Do not be fooled by the many pleated dress and casual pants you will find at even the best stores. They are there because people buy them, not because they look good. Please let’s stop the vicious cycle—don’t buy them. Thinking about the pleated pants situation makes me feel like the unhappy Indian chief in the anti-littering campaigns of the seventies, standing on a heap of garbage with one single, sad, glycerine tear running down his leathery sun-damaged cheek.
Okay, I’ve styled it out and I feel so much better now that that’s out in the open. Don’t you? Okay. Let’s move on to the other ways pants should—and shouldn’t—fit.
TIP
Fairy Godstylist Carson
When having your pants tailored, do not look down at the hem, the tailor, or your feet, as almost everyone is tempted to do. It will most certainly throw off your posture and foul up your alteration. Keep your eyes forward at all times.
Length
When we’re talking casual pants, I like to see little or no break, which means that the pants should cover the top of your shoe when standing. We should not see excess fabric pooling around the ankles, nor should there be an Urkel-esque overexposure of sock. This keeps pants looking neat and smart. If they’re really, really long and you’re dragging them on the ground, you’re just going to look dirty and schlubby and unkempt, and you’ll ruin your pants.
For dress pants, I also like very little break, but leave it up to your tailor. The hems should be slightly angled, so that the front of the pant is a smidge shorter than the back. You want the front to land just on or above your shoe, and you want the back of the hem to just touch the top of the heel of your shoe. That means your pants should cover the entire back of your shoe, except the heel.
Most good quality dress pants are going to have unfinished bottoms. I know that sounds naughty, but it just means you’ll have to have them hemmed. For dress pants, I like a nice clean hem with no cuff. Cuffs generally belong with pleated pants and we know how I feel about those—unless we’re talking about certain suit cuts. (See chapter five.) A non-cuffed dress pant is just a little cleaner, a little more modern, and I think a little more sophisticated. And do not, under any circumstances, let me catch any cuffs on the bottoms of your casual pants, or I’ll put you in handcuffs.
Waist
The waist of your pants should fit comfortably, not super tight or snug. You should be able to fit two fingers easily in the waistband.
It’s also important that your pants sit at the right level on your waist. If they don’t, you can’t have them tailored properly, especially if it’s a suit or a dress pant. Guys don’t know where to wear their pants. Some of them have them pulled up to the sky, and others have them so low they look like a “gangsta.”
More than any other pants, it’s essential that dress pants fit on your true waist or higher. This means that when you try them on, the waistband should fit above the hip bone, but not touching the belly button. Dress pants should not be low slung, low rise, low anything. Denim jeans should be worn low slung on the hip bone, but not so low we see your pubes.
A lot of guys think that the fit of pants ends with length and waist. Surprise! They also need to fit you in the rise and the seat.
Rise
Ther rise is the distance from the top button to your, um, “taint.” (You know—t’aint your ass and it t’aint your ... oh never mind.) Unless you’re truly gifted down there—and if you are, I applaud you—pants with an extra long rise will only make you look like you