Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [49]
There’s no polish involved if that’s what frightens you, as it does moi. They’ll just clean you up and fix all those ragged cuticles. You can get a simple buff on your nails, which is just like buffing your car: it’s a little low abrasion that makes them smooth and even and gives a very matte shine. Or you can just go au naturel.
Taking care of your toenails is important, too, especially during the summer, or if you share your bed with anyone. Your toenails should not be weapons or the star of a new television series called When Toenails Attack.
I’m also a big fan of the pedicure, which is all about getting your hooves in good order, as we say in the horse industry. No hoof, no horse. Again, there’s no need to fear that getting a pedicure means painting your toenails; a good pedicurist is just going to clean up your feet, which is a beautiful thing.
I know that regular pedicures are not for everyone, and we’ve got to do this in baby steps—pun intended. In fact, the idea of walking into a nail salon for a pedicure is just too scary for many straight men. And that’s okay; just promise me you’ll clip those toenails at home in the privacy of your own woodworking shop. But if you’re going on vacation, you might want to consider indulging in a pedicure. Cross over to the dark side. Follow me. You might never go back.
THE SCENT OF A MAN
While some members of my community may enjoy the smell of a musky bear, most people do not. So unless you’re planning on moving to France, I recommend you invest in a good quality deodorant. But let’s not forget to protect our clothing friends, shall we? Use a deodorant that doesn’t stain or ruin your undergarments or dress shirts. That would be like cutting off your nose to spite your face—or like throwing out your Pradas to spite your Guccis.
When it comes to deodorants, keep it simple. It’s all about being fresh and clean. I would avoid scents in your deodorants and save that for your cologne. I actually feel the same way about soap. Showering once a day won’t kill you, but I like an unscented soap, and one that’s non-comedogenic, so it won’t clog the pores on your ass cheeks. I don’t like guys who smell like bars of soap or have pimples on their butts. Call me crazy!
As for fragrance, a man with a little—and remember I said “a little”—scent on is hot. It’s sexy and yummy and lovely, and the ladies love it. I’m not talking about the scent of musty underwear or old gym sock, by the way, I’m talking about cologne. Cologne should always be subtle and never overwhelming. Put on far less than you think you would need. A great way to apply cologne is to spray it in front of you and then walk through the mist rather than applying it directly. That will keep your fellow elevator passengers from thinking you bathed in a vat of Paco Rabanne. That’s always the wrong answer.
It would be impossible for me to tell you how to buy cologne. Choosing a fragrance is so very personal. There are millions of options out there, and you just need to experiment and use a little common sense. If it’s called “Eau de Farm Animal,” or the bottle has a guarantee that it will improve your sex life, you might want to think again. Take a lady friend with you and try on a couple different scents.
Great style starts with a white smile. Life’s just too short to have yellow teeth, so I suggest you try a whitening product. There’s a multitude of products on the market that you can now get at any drugstore. And yes, they really work.
I’ll also warn you that if you like a scent someone has on, feel free to ask him about it, but keep in mind that a scent on one person is not going to necessarily smell the same on someone else, because of body chemistry and body oils and whatnot.
CHAPTER 9
WHO WEARS WHAT, WHEN, WHY, AND HOW
HERE’S WHERE I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY FOR YOUR AGE,