Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [52]
If renting is really your only option, you should rent only what I’m about to prescribe: a very classic tuxedo in simple black and white. Don’t let them talk you into the matching lavender cummerbund and bow tie. Before you know you’ll be into show tunes.
So here’s what a classic tux looks like from top to bottom. It’s very, very, very simple. We start with that classic peaked lapel jacket in black, right?
THE TUXEDO SHIRT should be a white shirt with a simple point collar, not a wing tip or you’ll look like a bartender on the Love Boat. Do I even need to say it doesn’t have ruffles?
I also hear that there is a vast conspiracy in the wedding industry to force grooms to wear ivory tux shirts if their brides are wearing ivory dresses, in order to keep those ivory gowns from appearing “dirty” by contrast. And while our friends in the rental tuxedo industry might really have your best interests in mind, this is ridiculous. Black tie is about black and white and no other colors. Period. You are never going to see enough of the shirt to cause a clash, and besides, you’re a bride and groom, not Raggedy Ann and Andy. You’re marrying each other, which is great, but that doesn’t mean you’re in for a lifetime of color coordinating your clothes. [Matching was good for the prom, but for your wedding,] it’s time to move on.
THE STUDS should coordinate with your cuff links. They can be sterling silver, onyx, lapis, or inexpensive silk knots. Studs really finish the whole look off. You don’t want to go too crazy with studs or you’ll look like Liberace. Think simple, demure, understated. No one should be able to see your studs from across the room.
THE TIE: Lately you’ve probably seen lots of celebrities pairing tuxedos with long ties, and that can look very handsome. But for the average guy, keeping it as simple and classic as possible is always the right answer, so I recommend a bow tie with a tux. You’ll just never be wrong.
I’m talking about a black grosgrain bow tie that you’ve tied yourself. A premade bow tie only tells the world of your secret desire to be a catering waiter. It just screams rented. You can wear the most expensive, glorious, custom-made tuxedo, but if you slap on a clip-on bow tie, you might as well tape a sign on your head that says “loser.” Oh, and the tie is black, folks. Colored ties might have worked for your prom, but so did that Flock of Seagulls haircut. Would Cary Grant wear a dusty rose or burgundy bow tie? I think, um, knot.
THE VEST: Personally, I think a vest is unnecessary. It’s not improper, but when we think about tuxedos, we should think about those role models who’ve worn them so well: men like Cary Grant and the cast of Ocean’s Eleven. And that means just a clean, sophisticated tuxedo with white shirt, black tie, and black cummerbund. Any time it gets tricky with vests or whatever, you could very easily look like you’re going to the prom on Beverly Hills, 90210. And we don’t want Shannen Doherty on our bad side, now do we?
THE POCKET SQUARE is white silk. Simple enough.
THE CUMMERBUND, like the tie, is also made of grosgrain, and the pleats go facing up. That’s because they were originally meant to catch crumbs or hold opera tickets. Oh, and by the way? There’s only one b in “cummerbund” people. It’s Cum. Mer. Bund. Now is that so hard to remember? (Isn’t that naughty?)
BRACES: I really like braces with a tux. (And I prefer the British term—braces—which seems more elegant and formal, and refers to something that buttons on the back of your pants.) Since you’re not wearing a belt, if your tuxedo pants don’t fit perfectly, you may want to wear braces. It’s the one part of a tuxedo that you can actually have a little fun with, because braces will often have patterns woven into them, much like a novelty tie. Like wedding food, let’s just hope it’s tasteful.
THE CUFF LINKS should coordinate with the studs. Understated is fine, or you could get nutty and