Off the Cuff - Carson Kressley [9]
All About Suede Shoes
Whilst I was a student at Ralph Lauren “University,” many of my fellow “classmates” seemed to feel that suede shoes were only for fall and winter. I disagree. Many designers are making shoes out of fine, beautiful suede these days. It’s so soft, luxurious, and rich that suede has become the cashmere of leathers. And just as cashmere is seasonless, I believe suede—which is inside-out calfskin, in case you were wondering—is, too.
There’s also a misconception out there that if suede gets dirty, you have to get rid of it. Caring for your suede is actually really, really easy. All you have to do is get a suede brush, which you can find at any shoe repair store, and give the shoes a good brushing—just like that great My Little Pony you had as a child. Or maybe it was the one you coveted from your little sister. Or was it Pound Puppies? But I digress. Anyway, brush your suede shoes just once or twice a season, and it will extend their life considerably.
Snow boots are necessary because there is no better way to ruin your leather shoes than to walk around in the snow. The salt on the sidewalk will migrate up to the sole of your shoe and cause it to detach. Salt also causes white crystallization on your shoes that you’ll have to work hard to get out. (Should you find yourself in that unfortunate situation, try a soft cloth and a shoe cream with mink oil.) If it’s snowy out, wear boots kind when you get to the office or wherever you’re going, then change into your dress shoes. Mind you, this is the one and only time I will allow you to change your shoes for your commute. Otherwise, it’s ridiculous.
Taking Care of Your Friends, Your Shoes
So now that you’ve amassed this great library of shoes, how are you going to take care of them? It really doesn’t take much. You can just literally spit shine them with a soft cloth every once and a while, in between occasional polishings, which need to be done with real, live shoe polish. You don’t want to be a slave to your shoes and feel like you have to spit shine and polish them every day. This isn’t the Army, people or An Officer and a Gentleman. Oh, don’t get me started on Richard Gere. Dreamsville! Sigh.
Your shoes should be kept clean and dry. It’s also a good idea not to wear the same pair of shoes every day. Just give them a day to breathe in between wearings and they’ll stay with you a long, long time. I’m also a big fan of the shoe tree. Shoe trees are good; plastic ficus trees are bad. If you buy an expensive pair of shoes, I’m going to be very upset if you don’t also invest in a pair of $8 shoe trees. When you’re not wearing your shoes, trees help them keep their shape and stay fresh and dry.
Keeping shoes in the boxes is always the wrong answer. Your shoes are like trophies. Keep them out so you can see them. I know it’s fun to hold on to the memory of that glorious day of shoe shopping, when they all came in their fresh little boxes, but keeping them cooped up doesn’t allow circulation, which is really important. Everything in your closet should be able to get some air, as all natural fibers and materials need. I recommend you invest in a canvas shoe holder that just slips over your closet door. That way you can keep all of your shoes out where you can see them. If they are in the boxes, you wind up forgetting what you have and not wearing some. And that would make us both sad clowns.
Shoes
Thick chunky sandals, also known as “mandals.” They look good on no one. Never worn with socks, by the way. It’s way too lesbian hootenanny.
Wearing socks with flip-flops. Ask yourself “What would Jesus do?” He wouldn’t wear socks.
Anything orthopedic-looking. If your shoe makes it seem that you have polio, it’s probably not the right look, unless you do have polio, in which case you should be getting better medical care, as polio has gone the way of the gaucho, people. It’s virtually nonexistent.
Backless shoes, otherwise known as the man mule. Always the wrong answer.