On Writing Romance_ How to Craft a Novel That Sells - Leigh Michaels [105]
Keep in mind that, contrary to what your third-grade teacher probably told you, there is nothing wrong with the verb said. In fact, since the eye tends to skip over the word, the readers get the meaning without being interrupted or jolted. Said is almost invisible on the page because the readers are so used to it.
Some other verbs, like shouted, whispered, and murmured, are just as useful because they tell the readers exactly how the sentence was expressed. Others, like orated, gritted, and averred, are annoying and intrusive. Verbs like laughed and smiled shouldn't be used in dialogue tags because one cannot smile or laugh words.
Adverbs added to said or to another attributive verb can be problematic. Many are useful in showing the precise way a sentence was spoken (she said quietly). But others are annoying (he interjected grittily), just plain silly [she giggled girlishly), or redundant (he shouted angrily).
The best method of attribution will depend on the situation, but using a variety of attribution techniques is a good way to keep your readers informed but not bored.
You don't need to identify the speaker with every single line of dialogue, especially if only two people are conversing. In fact, attributing every bit of dialogue by adding a dialogue tag or an action can quickly establish a sing-song rhythm that actually draws attention away from the conversation.
In addition to dialogue tags, there are a number of ways to clearly identify your speaker:
• Start a new paragraph for each change in speaker. As noted earlier, you should also start a new paragraph each time you want the readers' attention to
shift to a different character. If you include narration and dialogue in the same paragraph, the speaker and the person taking the action should be the same.
"Why?" Harry raised his eyebrows. "Because it seemed the right thing to do."
If Harry doesn't speak both those sentences, the second speaker should be set off in a new paragraph.
• Make the words themselves identify the speaker. In a conversation between
a man and a woman, if one of them says "Ever since I was a girl," it's pretty clear who is talking.
• Move the characters around the scene. Including action in the dialogue tells the readers that whoever is acting in that paragraph is also speaking the words of dialogue, and it adds color and life to your story-showing.
• Use the characters' gestures and body language. Though the heroine who defiantly squares her shoulders and raises her chin has been overused to the point she's become a cliche, it's true that adding gestures and body language to the dialogue tells the readers who's talking and offers clues about what all the characters are thinking, even if their thoughts aren't being directly shared with the readers.
• Have characters call each other by name. Don't overdo this, though. In real conversations, most people rarely use first names other than to get someone's attention.
Keep in mind that if you overuse techniques like incorporating movement, gestures, and the use of names in your dialogue, you can end up making your characters look like clowns and distracting the readers from what's supposed to be an important conversation:
Julia scratched her nose. "Rod, I wanted to talk to you about Kim." She shuffled the papers on her desk and found the letter she wanted.
Rod rubbed the back of his neck. "Go ahead, Julia." He got up from his chair and started pacing the floor.
"It's about her nanny, Rod." Julia shook a paper clip from the holder and jabbed it through the letter she'd just finished printing. Then she held it up, looked at it, and nodded. "Yes. Now, as I was saying, Rod." She pushed her chair back from the desk.
As this made-up example shows, adding more than one form of attribution per paragraph or speech simply gets in the way