Prime Time - Jane Fonda [92]
CHAPTER 14
The Lowdown on Getting It Up in the Third Act
Those searching for the fountain of youth may be surprised to learn that perhaps the easiest and most natural way to achieve healthy aging isn’t found in the doctor’s office, drug laboratory or rain forest, but in the bedroom.
—ROGER LIBBY
In our relationships, how much can we allow them to become new, and how much do we cling to what they used to be yesterday?
—RAM DASS
IN THE OLD DAYS—BACK IN 1998, WHEN VIAGRA WAS FIRST APPROVED for commercial sale—the thinking was that as long as a man could get an erection, a good sex life was ensured. According to a 2007 report from the New England Journal of Medicine, one out of seven men use the sexual pharmaceuticals Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis. There’s no question that these phosphodiestease inhibitors, or PDE5s as they’re called, have done a lot to enhance sexual capacity. For some men they can turn back the clock, say, ten years. But a panacea they aren’t. If a man and his partner expect these drugs to be the Fountain of Youth, they will be disappointed. On their own, the drugs don’t produce an erection. What they do is make the blood flow into the penis possible. But without desire on the man’s part and a great deal of direct stimulation of the penis (way more than when we were young), the erection won’t happen.
Drugs and Other Methods to
Address Erectile Dysfunction
Let’s look at each of the drugs currently on the market. But first of all, remember that, erection-wise, the results of each drug will vary from man to man. And these drugs are not without possible side effects, some of which may be serious for certain people, so you really must consult your own doctor about all of this.
Generally, Viagra is effective for from one to four hours. However, because the pill works fastest if it is taken on an empty stomach, a guy who is planning to have sex in the evening needs to time things rather carefully. Gone are the days of having a long romantic dinner with good wine, going straight home while there’s still a buzz, and getting right to it. Now he will probably want to wait for an hour or so after dinner and then ingest the pill, then wait thirty to sixty minutes for it to take effect. Alternatively, the pill can be taken prior to dinner, but some men may experience indigestion as a result. The effects of Levitra can be very similar, but Levitra may be taken with or without food. The effects of Cialis are supposed to last thirty-six hours, but you can’t always count on that, either. Some men have told me that they take Cialis and then, after a while, as the time for sex approaches, they add a Viagra for a little bump. Combining erectile dysfunction medications can be quite dangerous, however, so never mix and match unless you are instructed to do so by a medical doctor who is experienced in prescribing these drugs (and then follow instructions carefully).
It can be important, at this stage of life, for both partners to know if sex is on the agenda on a given day or evening. The pills are not cheap. It can be a source of irritation if the man has taken a pill, expecting to have sex, only to discover that his partner isn’t interested. Talk about crossed signals: One night I took a sleeping pill just as my partner came in telling me he’d taken a Levitra. We proceeded (lazily) down his chosen path and it was not uninteresting (hated to waste all that money), but we won’t make that mistake again. Let’s face it: Sexual spontaneity may be harder to come by or a thing of the past for many Third Acters. Then again, advance planning—anticipation and fantasy—can be sexy in itself.
Dr. Michael Perelman, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry, reproductive medicine, and urology at Weill Cornell Medical College, explained to me that “it’s particularly important for some men to realize that just taking the pills will not give them an erection. Yes, sexual pharmaceuticals can restore function, but you still need the same kind of friction you always needed, only