Reaction - Lesley Choyce [3]
“I can’t say that, you know that, Zach. Remember when we broke up? We both knew it was the best thing for both of us. We talked and we both decided.”
“Yeah, but this is different.”
“Still, you need to sit down and talk to her,” she said. “This is not about you right now. This is about her.”
And I guess it sank in just then. All along, I had still been thinking about how bad this all was for me. This must be even worse for Ashley.
Chapter Four
I needed to talk to Ashley. Some days after school she went to a coffee shop close to her house. She usually went with a group of friends. They would all no doubt hate my guts, but I’d have to take that chance. I hopped off the bus at Kiley’s stop and ran ten blocks to Java Junction. I was winded when I opened the door and spotted her.
Not giving myself time to catch my breath, I went right over to her table. The conversation stopped dead. “I’m sorry, Ashley,” I said. “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything you want me to do. Anything. Please.”
I stood there for an awkward minute. I waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. Everyone else just stared at me.
I didn’t know what else to say. I tried to slow the pounding of my heart. Looking at her, I realized that something had changed in the way she looked at me. The anger was gone. It was replaced by confusion. “Anything,” I repeated, as if that word would do the trick. And maybe I should have stopped there and turned around, but instead I kept going. “I love you,” I added.
I watched her face for a response. It caught her totally off guard. It caught me off guard too. We’d had fun together and got along really well. But it was only now sinking in that I cared for this girl. I think I loved her.
And now we were both scared. There was dead silence. Then she stood up, and I saw the look on her face change from confusion back to anger. And she blurted it out. “Bullshit!” she said. “Liar.” The other girls scowled at me.
I had failed in my mission. I turned and headed out the door. All I could think about was getting out of there.
I hadn’t realized that she had followed me outside until I reached the corner and felt a hand grab my shoulder and twist me around. “I’m going to have this taken care of, and I want you to pay for it.”
I’d thought about this but wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. “We need to talk first. Is this really what you want?”
She didn’t answer that question. Instead she said, “My friends think you can be criminally charged. They say I should go to the police.”
“That would be crazy. Ashley, I’m sorry about all this. We need to go talk to somebody who can help us sort this out. Not the police.”
“Nobody can help us. You screwed up everything. I want you punished.”
“Is that why you lied and told people I forced you to have sex with me? You know it wasn’t that way.” Ashley didn’t answer. She just stared at me. I felt trapped, and my mind froze.
Then she took out her cell phone and started to make a call. “Who are you calling?” I asked, my voice shaking.
“My parents,” she said.
I didn’t know what else to do. I turned my back on her, and I began to run.
Chapter Five
I was never much of a runner. I ran for three blocks until my lungs felt like they were about to burst. I was afraid to go home. Afraid the police might actually be there. I didn’t know much about the law. If a sixteen-year-old guy has sex with a girl only one year younger, could that be a crime? And if it was, what would they do to me? Everyone would know. And everyone would hate me. And my parents? What would they think of their son?
It was beginning to sink in that I could be in real trouble. That scared the crap out of me. And none of this seemed fair. Was it really all my fault? It wasn’t like Ashley and I were the only ones having sex. So why did everyone want to blame me? Now I was feeling angry. All I wanted to do was get away from it all.
I caught a bus that took me to one of the main highways out of town. And, for the first time in my life, I stuck out my thumb there on the ramp leading up into the traffic. All I could