Reaction - Lesley Choyce [7]
“That’s not it,” I countered. “It’s just that it is such an important decision and I’m trying to figure out what is right.”
She looked a little sick again, and she turned her head away from me and just stared out the window.
I left things there hanging in the air for a minute, wishing the damn music wasn’t so loud. Finally I asked, “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking I want my life back. I want to go back to being just a girl going to high school. I wish this never happened. I wish I never met you.” There was no anger in her voice.
“I’m glad I met you,” I said. “I think we can do this thing together.”
She was still staring out the window, and I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. And then she turned to me. And she kissed me. She held my face in her hands and kissed me like she meant it.
Chapter Eight
I walked Ashley to her class after that. As I drifted off toward math class, I felt warm and fuzzy. Happy. I’d never felt like this before, and I was sure my gut reaction was right. Everything was going to be okay. Ashley and I would see this through.
After school, I tried to convince her to go back to the clinic with me. I wanted to sit down and talk some more with Dr. Benson—more about pregnancy and about the possibility of not giving up the baby.
Ashley just shook her head. “I have to talk to my parents first. I owe them that.”
All of a sudden that warm fuzzy feeling was gone. “I understand,” I said. “Can I talk to them with you?”
“No,” she said. “That wouldn’t be good. I need to do this myself.”
So I walked her home, but I didn’t walk her up to her door.
That night, the shit hit the fan. The phone rang, and it was Ashley’s father. He talked to my dad at first. All I could hear was the conversation on this end. My father was trying to be polite, but Mr. Walker must have been screaming. This was not good.
I heard my dad say finally in a nervous but controlled voice, “I’m sorry, I have to hang up now. Maybe we can have this conversation another time.” And he hung up the phone.
Not a minute passed before the phone rang again. This time I picked it up in my room.
“Hi,” I said. “It’s me. Zach.”
“Put your father back on the phone,” he growled.
“No,” I said. “I think it’s me you need to talk to. Not him.”
“Well, you are the source of the problem here.”
“I know.”
“What’s this crazy idea you’re putting in my daughter’s head?” he asked.
“We’re just trying to come to a decision that is right for us.”
“Decision? Who are you to decide?”
I paused for a second. “I’m the father. I should have a say in this.”
“You get my daughter pregnant and then tell me that you want to decide what’s right for her future?” He was losing it now. I could hear it in his voice.
I was working hard at keeping my cool. My father walked into my room then and just stood there. “Put me back on the phone,” he said. I shook my head no and then tried to ignore him.
I spoke slowly and carefully into the phone. “I want Ashley and me to decide together what comes next.” And I probably should not have said what I said next. But he was pushing me. “Maybe the right thing is for her to have the baby and not give it up.”
I waited for whatever was going to come next, but all I heard was a kind of ragged breathing into the phone. And then Mr. Walker slammed the receiver down.
My father was still standing there. I turned around to face him. And I waited for him to say something. Maybe I even hoped he was going to say how proud he was of me for taking responsibility and also for not getting angry on the phone. Instead he just turned and walked away.
Chapter Nine
Soon everyone at school knew the situation. Or they knew at least that Ashley was pregnant and that I was the one who got her that way. Ashley had told Elisse and, well, Elisse told just about everyone. As you can imagine, there were various versions about how I got her pregnant.
Some of the guys I hardly knew were slapping me on the back. “Congratulations, dude,” someone would say