Real Marriage_ The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together - Mark Driscoll [1]
WAYNE AND MARGARET GRUDEM,
PHOENIX SEMINARY, PHOENIX, ARIZONA
Our thanks to Mark and Grace Driscoll who have served this generation well by tastefully but boldly addressing the real issues facing real marriages. Taking the unchanging truth of God’s word and sprinkling in the story of God’s mercy in their own marriage, they have filled every chapter with real helpfulness. This book is powerful, biblical, practical and healing for marriages that hurt. My wife and our adult children read it to great profit.
DR. JAMES MACDONALD,
SENIOR PASTOR, HARVEST BIBLE CHAPEL AND
BIBLE TEACHER FOR WALK IN THE WORD
REAL
MARRIAGE
REAL
MARRIAGE
THE TRUTH ABOUT
SEX, FRIENDSHIP
& LIFE TOGETHER
MARK GRACE
DRISCOLL
© 2012 by On Mission, LLC
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture is taken from the new king james version®. © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
ISBN 978-1-4041-8352-0 (IE)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Driscoll, Mark, 1970-
Real marriage : the truth about sex, friendship, and life together / Mark and Grace Driscoll.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-1-4002-0383-3 (alk. paper)
1. Spouses--Religious life. 2. Marriage--Religious aspects--Christianity. 3. Sex in marriage-Religious aspects--Christianity. I. Driscoll, Grace. II. Title.
BV4596.M3D75 2012
248.8’44--dc23
2011028613
Printed in the United States of America
12 13 14 15 16 QGF 6 5 4 3 2 1
CONTENTS
Preface: How Not to Read This Book
Introduction
PART 1 MARRIAGE
Chapter 1 New Marriage, Same Spouse
Chapter 2 Friend with Benefits
Chapter 3 Men and Marriage
Chapter 4 The Respectful Wife
Chapter 5 Taking Out the Trash
PART 2 SEX
Chapter 6 Sex: God, Gross, or Gift?
Chapter 7 Disgrace and Grace
Chapter 8 The Porn Path
Chapter 9 Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers
Chapter 10 Can We _______?
PART 3 THE LAST DAY
Chapter 11 Reverse-Engineering Your Life and Marriage
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Notes
Index
Appendix I: “Getting to Know Your Spouse” Questionnaire
Appendix II: Date Night Tips
Appendix III: Divorce and Remarriage
Appendix IV: Marriage to an Unbeliever
Appendix V: Sexual Behavior and Religious Belief
Appendix Notes
xi
PREFACE
How Not to Read This Book
This is a costly book.
It cost many couples a lot to learn the hard lessons they have shared with us so that we can share them with you. It cost us a lot to learn from our mistakes and sins so that we could have something to share. It cost Jesus His life, as He died to forgive our sin and give us a new life together, which includes our family and ministry. And it will cost you as well. It will cost you time to read it, emotion to consider it, and energy to discuss and implement it.
Because we are a pastor and his wife, we really do want this book to be used of God to help people. It’s the kind of book we wished we could have read earlier in our marriage, and wish we could have given to those we served