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There is nothing wrong with being a boy, so long as you are a boy. But there is a lot wrong with being a boy when you are supposed to be a man. To paraphrase Paul: “When I was a boy, I talked like a boy, I thought like a boy, I reasoned like a boy. When I became a man, I put childish and boyish ways behind me.”a A lot of guys fight the transition from boy to man because they despise responsibility.

Enabling this type of guy are a legion of moms and girlfriends who pay his bills, pick up his mess, lend him their cars, and keep him supplied with alcohol and a steady diet of snacks.

Men are supposed to be producers, not just consumers. You are defined by the legacy, the life, and the fruit that come out of you, not by what you take in. But most guys are just consumers.

Paul said a man is “the image and glory of God.”b He is to reflect the truth, goodness, love, and mercy of Jesus, his God and Savior. He is the glory of God.

If you recognize yourself, even a little bit, in what I’ve described, take heart. I have hope for you, because you are the glory of God. God wants His glory to shine through men. God wants His kingdom to be made visible through them. God wants them to be His sons. God wants us to follow, by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the example of Jesus.

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I don’t really care if you buy man toys, or if you play video games or rock out on your guitar. The problem is when those are prevalent, predominant, and preeminent in your life. Some of you would argue and say, “It’s not a sin.” No, but some things that are not sinful are still just dumb. If you got fired because you were up trying to get to the next level and become a guild leader, that’s dumb. If you work only one part-time job so you can have more time to play guitar or Frisbee golf, that’s dumb. If you spend all your money on a new car or truck, or toys, or gear, or gambling, or clothes, or fantasy football, that’s dumb. There are a lot of things that Christian guys do that aren’t evil; they’re just dumb and childish and foolish.

Men are to be creators and cultivators. God is a creator and a cultivator, and you were made to image Him. Create a family and cultivate your wife and children. Create a ministry and cultivate other people. Create a business and cultivate it. Be a giver, not a taker, a producer and not just a consumer. Stop looking for the path of least resistance and start running down the path of greatest glory to God and good to others because that’s what Jesus, the real Man, did.

Tough and Tender

Being a man like Jesus is about being both tough and tender.

As men, we are to be tough in defending the weak, oppressed, abused, and poor, fighting for justice and mercy. We are to be tough (and honorable) when competing in business because we are competing in order to feed our families. We are to be tough in defending truth and combating false teaching and error. We are to be tough with stiff-necked, hard-hearted men who bully others around. We are to be tough in carving out safety and protection for women and children in a world that abuses them.

As men, we are to be tender in comforting the hurting, encouraging the downcast, and teaching the simple. We are to be tender with our wives, loving them as Christ does the church. We are to be tender with our children, kissing them on the head, often telling them we love them, and providing continuous assurance that we truly consider them gifts from God. We are to be tender with those who are already broken by their sin and needing godly counsel and help.

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Jesus was tough enough to go to the cross without shedding a tear. And Jesus was tender enough to weep over the death of His friend.

But men who are mainly tough without also being tender are commonly tough chauvinists who only understand masculinity in part. Do you know any of these guys or recognize any of their habits in yourself?

Tough Chauvinists

“No Sissy Stuff ” Sam believes being a man is simply being the opposite of a woman. He lacks emotion other