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By Root 827 0

than anger used for bullying and intimidation because other emotions are a sign of weakness. He is not very verbal because he has little interest in opening up or getting drawn into a deep conversation with his wife because he’s selfish. And he is not physically affectionate other than when he wants sex from his wife, because he sees affection as effeminate and sex as a masculine activity more akin to hunting, scoring, or conquering. He needs to learn that being a man is not the opposite of being a woman, that both are made in the image of God and express the same emotions in masculine and feminine ways.

Success-and-Status Stewart believes being a man is about what you have and do rather than who you are and how you serve. Like a foolish ex-jock, this fellow is forever talking about and consumed by any score keeping that he can use to show his superiority over others—for example, the beauty of his wife, his strength, appearance, health, car, income, degree, skills, university he graduated from, children’s performance, and possessions. You never have to ask this guy what his latest victory is, because he’ll make sure to tell you what a winner he is.

“Give ’Em Hell” Hank thinks men are solely warriors, brawlers, and tough guys. He is prone to a short temper, and his wife is often afraid of upsetting him and the wrath she might endure. The simplest way to understand this guy is that he’s a controlling bully. Bullying has worked for him, so he feels no need to change. He’s been able, for the most part, to get through life finding weaker people who avoid conflict and then bullying them around. His children feel no close connection to him, and his wife is left with the horrible choices of leaving the fool; sticking around to toughen up like a man and fight back; or just bowing her head, shutting her mouth, and doing what she’s told, not unlike a pet.

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“I’m the Boss” Bob loves to be in authority and tell others what to do, but he hates being under authority and doing what he’s told. Wherever he finds himself, he appoints himself king and lord. He loves to be in charge, boss people around, and bark out orders. He’s happy so long as he’s the boss and gets his way but becomes quite contentious, or even a whiney baby, when he does not get his way. Men like Bob go from church to church declaring they cannot find a good one, and by “good church” they mean one led by a pastor dumb enough to take orders. Their wives are often weary women, and it shows in their faces. Their children grow up to despise them or parrot them, either of which is a tragedy.

The problem with blockhead tough chauvinists of all sorts includes how they read the Bible. When they read about men being the “head” of their families they miss all the other parts about repentance, friendship, love, humility, and being like Jesus.

The opposite of tough chauvinists are tender cowards. These are the kinds of guys who are too soft, too amiable, and too effeminate.

Tender Cowards

Little-Boy Larry never grew up—like Peter Pan. He tends to be disorganized and has a hard time getting his life together for an extended time. Getting and keeping a job are always tough because he’s not very ambitious and finds that ongoing responsibilities tend to get in the way of his hobbies and friends. He’s immature; his interests and mannerisms are those of a boy and not a man. Unable to pay his bills or look after himself, he tends to borrow money from other people who keep an eye on him in ways an adult looks after a child. Women are attracted to him in the way a mother is attracted to a helpless baby.

Sturdy-Oak Owen goes to work and comes home, cuts the grass, mends the fence, pays the bills, turns on the TV, and checks out. He is physically present but emotionally absent. He’s always working on his car. He’s always on the Internet. He’s always in his study. He’s always in the garage. He’s always in the yard. He’s always doing something other than connecting with his family. His hobbies tend to be solo activities, like fishing, hunting, or motorcycle riding. Or they may include