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By Root 839 0

as well as joy and satisfaction, will come from her husband and children. The man’s curse was providing for his family. This means that a man will always find it very difficult not to idolize or demonize his work and to do it unto the Lord as an act of worship, which God has chosen to mature and grow him as a man. And what the weakest, most worthless men among us do is say, “Oh, my load is heavy. I know yours is heavy, but I need you to carry half of mine too.” Men, you have to work harder and smarter than the other men if you want to feed your family. That’s your responsibility as a man. If you want any men to respect you, if you want your wife to respect you, if you want your children to respect you, you pay the bills.

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Admittedly, a wife working before kids are born, or who finds a way to make money from home without neglecting her first God-given responsibilities of Christian, wife, and mother is acceptable. But men, you should make money. You should feed your family. One study found that “American wives, even wives who hold more feminist views about working women and the division of household tasks, are typically happier when their husbands earn 68% or more of the household income.”2

We live in a time where there are guys telling their wives that they don’t want to have children because that would mean they would need to step up to provide for their families and stop acting like children themselves. There’s nothing sadder than a woman who loves Jesus and wants to be a mom, but the husband keeps saying, “I’m the head of the home. No.” What he’s saying is, “I’m in charge, and I command you to sin,” to deny all your maternal instincts.

The latest statistics reveal that 40 percent of all children are born out of wedlock. It is now at the point where women aren’t even pretending they will ever get married. They go to college, get good jobs, get pregnant, and have children alone. They’ve lost any hope of ever finding a guy who can actually carry the load, and that’s tragic.

A 2007 Pew Research Center study found that only 20 percent of mothers with children under eighteen want to work full-time.3 It also has become increasingly common for the media to feature stories on stay-at-home dads as if this role reversal were common. But less than 1 percent of America’s 22.5 million married families with children under fifteen had a stay-at-home dad in 2008, according to the U.S. Census.4

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Not only should a man make money, he also should steward it well. He should have a wise budget that accounts for spending, saving, investing, retirement, tithing, and being generous to his family as much as he is able. And if your wife is going to work outside the home when the children are small, you must account for all the costs financially and practically. Will all the increased costs for Mom working (another car, eating out, cell phone, day care, increased tax bracket, etc.) really be worth it? Will the quality of child care anyone else provides rise to the level that comes from a godly mother in the daily life of her child(ren)? Would it be wiser to downsize your lifestyle than downsize the care of your child?

Honor Your Wife Technologically

Are you constantly checking your phone? Do you spend hours surfing the Internet? Are you always checking game scores? Do you bring your phone to the dinner table? Do you have a television at the foot of your bed? Do you take your laptop, phone, and other technology with you on vacations and date nights? Do you spend your free time sitting in front of a screen? Do you spend your date nights not speaking to your wife but watching a movie? Turn it off; unplug it; move it; leave it. Be present with your wife, speak with your wife, connect with your wife, and cultivate your wife rather than ignoring her.

I’ve had to work on this so that my wife and children know they are my priority. There is always a seemingly urgent need seeking to take my time, but breaking bad habits and ensuring that our family is my highest priority is essential.

Covenant Marriage

Understanding contract versus covenant