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By Root 757 0

sexual abuse of children, already an epidemic, will be on the rise. In 2002 the United States Supreme Court narrowed the definition for child pornography from “any visual depiction that appears to be of a minor engaging in sexually explicit conduct” to be “only those images in which an actual person under the age of eighteen (rather than one that simply appears to be) is involved in the making of the porn.”19 This paved the way for pornographers to intentionally make women look younger and childlike, like putting them in pigtails and schoolgirl outfits, as well as use computer-generated images of children in porn. After all, if the actors look like kids, it’s legal so long as they are not kids.

One feminist scholar said, “The average length of time between downloading the first child porn and sexually assaulting a child was one year. Most men told me that before becoming addicted to Internet porn, they had not been sexually interested in children.”20 Perpetrators often use child porn as a “manual” to teach young children how to perform sex acts.

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This chapter may have been as brutal for you to read as it has been brutal for us to write. We have sought to sand the varnish off porn and sinful lust so as to see it for what it truly is—a horrific evil with no redeeming value. As horrific as these evils are, people enslaved by them are not beyond the redeeming grace of God made available through Jesus Christ. In closing, we offer some practical advice for those wanting to be free of porn and sinful lust, as well as those spouses who love them.

You must be honest with yourself. Most people we have counseled are not fully honest regarding their sexual sin. We would strongly encourage you to prayerfully journal your entire sexual history, including everything you have seen, done, and had done to you sexually. Do not deny the truth because it is embarrassing. Do not minimize the truth as if it were no big deal. Do not normalize the truth as if it were okay because it is so common. Do not rationalize the truth with excuses like “It’s not as bad as adultery” or “I've got it under control.” Do not celebrate it as a freedom when it is in fact slavery.

You must be honest with God. It is vital that you spend however many hours it takes with God prayerfully, tearfully, and earnestly talking about the painful details of your sexual history. Equally vital is asking Him for specific help in areas where you have been most wounded or tempted or both. The truth is, God has been present every moment of your life and already knows everything. Your speaking with Him is for your healing and the maturing of your relationship with Him.

You must be honest with your spouse. Your spouse deserves to know who you are and also has to have an accurate account of how to help you and exactly what you are dealing with. This will be difficult for him or her to hear, so prepare your spouse in advance and schedule an entire day or two for the purpose of coming clean. Your spouse will need to hear you sincerely repent of things you have done, report what has been done to you, and also be told about areas you are struggling in and where you need to be held accountable. How much detail you share is important. If you share too much, he or she could be haunted for life. If you share too little, your spouse will not really know the truth and may allow his or her imagination to make things worse than they are. If you are parents, do not have your children nearby. Have a biblical counselor or pastor chosen to meet with for continued help. Allow your spouse to have righteous anger over your sin against him or her.

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You must put your sexual sin to death by the grace of God. First John 3:9 teaches that “whoever has been born of God does not sin [make a practice of sinning], for His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin, because he has been born of God.” While none of us can become perfect in this life,a God does promise that Christians can put their sin, including sexual sin, to death because Jesus died for it. In 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, Paul said, “Do you not