Second Chance - Jane Green [117]
Saffron looks at him coolly. ‘Chemicals,’ she says, and as he recoils in horror Anna starts to laugh.
‘Seriously,’ Anna says as she comes over. ‘What is in it?’
‘Seriously,’ Saffron proffers the box proudly, ‘chemicals – additives and preservatives. Disgusting things that are probably making my insides melt. There ain’t nothing natural about this gig.’
‘At least you’ll die thin.’ Olivia doesn’t get it, has never got this whole obsession with supposedly ‘healthy’ eating, preferring to have a teaspoon of double cream than a gallon of fat-free milk.
‘Exactly, my love.’ Saffron laughs, licking the spoon with rapturous, put-on joy. ‘I vill be sin and bee-yoo-tee-ful even ven I am ded.’
Holly laughs and walks into the living room to finish setting the table. She stands back, delighted with how cosy it looks. The fire is blazing, there are candles filling the room with a warm glow and the table, complete with place settings designed and executed by the kids, looks gorgeous.
‘Come on, kids.’ Holly holds her hands out for Daisy and Oliver. ‘Bedtime.’
‘But Mummy…’ Oliver starts to whine.
‘No buts.’ She smiles. ‘It’s already half an hour later than your usual bedtime. Come on. Up we go.’
Holly kisses Daisy on the top of her head, standing back and watching her for a few seconds as she snores quietly, already fast asleep. ‘Goodnight,’ she whispers, ‘I love you,’ and as she tiptoes out of the room, she bumps into Will, who leans back on the wall, arms crossed, smiling down at her.
Holly’s heart misses a beat.
There is a chemistry in the air, a static that is almost palpable. She looks expectantly up at Will, and he shakes his head as he continues smiling.
‘It’s really weird, seeing you as a mother,’ he says softly.
‘Weird, how? Weird bad?’
‘No, no. God, no. You seem to have a really warm, loving relationship with the kids. But weird because I’ve never thought of you as a mother, never known you as a mother. I mean, obviously I knew you had kids, but to see you so… I don’t know… so grown-up, I suppose. I just always think of you as being young and, well, like me.’
Holly raises an eyebrow. ‘You mean young and irresponsible?’
He shrugs. ‘I’m afraid so. I think I just never thought about the responsibilities you actually have. I mean, you’re a grown-up. A proper one.’
‘So… does that mean you think of me differently now you’ve seen me with my kids?’
‘A bit,’ he says.
‘Uh-oh. Different good or different bad?’
‘I could never think of you as anything bad,’ he whispers.
Neither of them is smiling any more, and Holly’s heart is beating very fast.
‘So what are you thinking?’ Her voice almost catches with apprehension.
‘I’m thinking,’ he leans forward ever so slightly, ‘I’m thinking about what it would be like to kiss you.’
*
If you had asked Holly what it was like to kiss someone for the first time, she would laugh and say she couldn’t remember. She would say that she would be terrified to kiss someone now, that at approaching forty she has pretty much forgotten how it is done.
But she hasn’t forgotten. Had forgotten perhaps how gorgeous it feels to kiss the man you’ve been longing for, to kiss the man who has occupied all your thoughts and fantasies for the best part of every day, to kiss the man who may be the one to save you from yourself, or at least, save you from your marriage.
She had forgotten the sweetness of a first kiss. Had forgotten how you lean your foreheads on one another’s, looking into one another’s eyes with a sweet smile when it is over, cupping one another’s faces with your hands, wanting to drink the other in, wanting to just eat them up with a spoon.
She had forgotten.
Now she remembers.
Chapter Twenty-five
Each time Olivia leaves the table, Anna feels as if someone were twisting a knife in her heart. There is no mistaking why Olivia leaves – her face turns that peculiar shade of grey, and she runs to the bathroom, hand over her mouth.
This time Saffron follows her to see if she’s okay, Anna going into the kitchen to bring out the salad.
It has been