Second Chance - Jane Green [118]
But not Anna. Anna who never really knew Tom. Anna is carrying her grief for a different reason. Anna is trying so hard to focus on getting on with her life, trying to accept that perhaps she and Paul are not destined to have children but will have to adopt instead.
She is trying so hard not to resent Olivia, but as the evening wears on, with Olivia rushing off to the bathroom all the time, she is finding the sadness settling on her shoulders once again, her bravado slowly melting away.
Anna leans her hands on the counter for a second, breathing deeply. The bathroom is directly above the kitchen, and she realizes that she is able to hear everything from upstairs.
She hears Olivia retch into the toilet bowl, then a soft knocking before Saffron walks in. She can picture Saffron rubbing Olivia’s back and hears her gently asking if she’s okay.
‘Why do they call it morning sickness?’ She hears Olivia groan. ‘It lasts all bloody day.’
‘I had a friend who had this during the entire pregnancy,’ Saffron says. ‘Can you imagine? Her gynaecologist told her it would be over at three months, but it went on for nine. Ghastly. They had her on all sorts of drugs, but nothing worked.’
‘Oh God, that’s horrific,’ Olivia says. ‘Thank God this is going to be over soon.’
‘You’re definitely not having it?’
There’s a silence. ‘I can’t,’ Olivia says in a soft voice. ‘What would I do with a baby? There’s no room in my life, and frankly I’ve never been one of those women whose biological clock started ticking. Either mine wasn’t working or I didn’t have one.’
‘What about adoption?’ Saffron asks. ‘Would you ever consider that?’
‘I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.’
Everyone looks up as Anna rushes into the living room.
‘Paul,’ she blurts out urgently. ‘I have an idea! We could adopt Olivia’s baby!’
‘What?’ Paul shakes his head. Did he understand her correctly?
‘No, no, I am serious! She does not want a baby and we do. Doesn’t it make perfect sense?’
‘Oh Anna,’ Paul says sadly. ‘I don’t think she wants to have a baby at all. Listen to her, she’s been throwing up for days. The last thing she wants is to go through a pregnancy. It’s a wonderful idea, but I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.’
‘Why not ask?’ Holly interrupts. ‘It is a wonderful idea, and you won’t know unless you ask.’
‘Do you think?’ Paul says doubtfully. ‘I think it’s incredibly presumptuous.’ ‘
It’s not!’ Anna insists. ‘Imagine if she said yes! This could be the answer to everything. I swear, Paul, do you not think it is too much of a coincidence that Olivia is pregnant and does not want a child? And here she is, staying with us, when we have been trying for a baby for two years and now we are talking about adoption? I think God brought us all together for a reason, and I think this is it. I swear to you, I really do.’
‘God brought us together for what reason?’ Saffron and Olivia have come down the stairs.
Paul looks down at his plate, not wanting to be the one to ask.
Anna waits until Olivia sits down, then looks straight at her. ‘Olivia…’ She is suddenly nervous. ‘You know Paul and I have been trying IVF, and it has not worked. Well, we were thinking that, um, maybe, now you are pregnant and you do not want the baby… we were thinking that if you would consider having the baby, perhaps we could adopt it.’
It is far more difficult for Anna to say this than she realized. She has always been impulsive, has never had any problems with asking for what she wants – you don’t get to run the third most successful Internet company in the UK without knowing how to ask for what you want, but this is so important to her, something she wants so badly, she is uncharacteristically nervous, terrified the answer will be no.
‘God… I… I don’t know what to say.’ Olivia is shocked.