Second Chance - Jane Green [124]
Holly is a good mother, but she rarely does what Anna is doing with the children this afternoon. She rarely gets down on her hands and knees and plays with them. That is Frauke’s job, she tries to tell herself. Surely. She is around for her children all the time, but rarely this past year, struggling with the depths of her unhappiness, has she been truly present.
Everyone agrees that Holly is a wonderful mother, but Holly carries around a burden of guilt because this past year she has not been the mother she could be nor the mother she once was.
In withdrawing from life, and from her marriage, she has also, she realizes now, withdrawn from her children at a time when they needed her most. She has realized this since being here. She is already feeling lighter, happier, having nothing to worry about other than the mindless jobs of painting or sanding or tiling, her children delighted to be working away with her, by her side.
And lucky Daisy and Oliver have Anna today, who is present in every way. Who has decided she has nothing else to do except play with Daisy and Oliver. If Daisy wants to make beds out of twigs she has found, Anna will help her. If Oliver wants to crack open a geode he thinks he has found, she will help him. She will not run up to her computer to check her emails every few minutes. Nor will she shush them while she’s on the phone. She will not stick them in front of the television while she makes supper, to get some peace and quiet, nor will she shout at them to stop fighting.
Because they don’t fight. They have a grown-up’s undivided attention. Why on earth would they fight?
Holly and Will, Olivia and Saffron are standing at the edge of the pedestrian section in town, cobbled streets beckoning invitingly. Will needs to find new headphones for his iPod, and Saffron wants to look at the touristy shops on the other side.
‘Let’s split up,’ Saffron suggests, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth. ‘Holly, why don’t you go with Will, and Olivia can come with me?’
‘Great!’ Will says. ‘Let’s meet back here in an hour.’
Olivia laughs as they walk off. ‘That was very nice of you, but you know they have absolutely no idea that we know.’
‘I figure a young couple in lurrve need a little time together.’ Saffron laughs too.
‘Do you think they’re in love?’
‘They’re definitely in lust. Does that count? Did you see, in the car, she kept touching him when she thought no one was looking. Oh God,’ says Saffron with a sigh. ‘I miss that. I miss Pearce.’
‘It sounds like you have something very special.’
Saffron stops and turns to look at Olivia. ‘Thank you.’ She smiles as she blinks back tears. ‘Thank you for saying that. I think we do.’ Turning back, she links her arm through Olivia’s as they walk. ‘And what about you, Olive? So far you’ve said little about the father. Isn’t there more to the story now? Can’t you make things work?’
‘God, I just don’t know. Sometimes I lie in bed and I think that maybe there’s a way. But, Saff, this was a fling, nothing more. I heard from him once, and honestly, even if I thought there was a smidgen of a chance he might be interested, I just can’t see how it could work.’
‘I still can’t quite believe you managed to get yourself pregnant. Aren’t you, aren’t we all, old enough to know better?’
Olivia shakes her head, almost in disbelief at her stupidity. ‘I know. In this day and age I can’t believe it either, but it was about a minute after my period stopped. I know this sounds ridiculous but I didn’t even think it could happen then.’
‘Hmmm. I seem to recall human biology never was your best subject.’
‘Oh thanks. That was largely due to you looking at me and making me giggle every time they talked about the human reproductive system.’
‘That wasn’t me. That was Holly!’ Saffron