Second Chance - Jane Green [125]
‘It was both of you. I hadn’t thought about that for years. That dragon Mrs Steener, who used to tower over us and bellow…’
‘Mrs Steener came to see me in a play I was in after I left university. She was really nice actually. It was the first time I realized that teachers were human beings too.’
Olivia gives her a sideways look. ‘At St Catherine’s? Are you sure?’
‘Oh yes, I’m sure. I kept in touch with Jane Fellowes for years, although I haven’t actually spoken to her for about a year.’
‘Miss Fellowes? The music teacher? That’s completely mad. Why would you do that?’
‘I really liked her. She was having a raging affair with Martin Hanover, you know. For years.’
‘You’re kidding!’ Olivia is truly shocked. ‘Miss Fellowes and Mr Hanover? How did we not know that?’
‘They had to be enormously discreet. The headmistress would have had both their heads on a platter if she’d known.’
‘God. But Mr Hanover! I had a bit of a crush on him myself.’
‘I think everyone did. Not that he was exactly crush-worthy, but as the only man in a sea of young females with raging hormones…’
‘… beggars can’t be choosers and all that.’ Olivia laughs.
‘I know. You do see how these mad affairs happen, with male teachers jumping into bed with dangerous adolescents. All-girl schools are just hotbeds of yearning and lustful fantasies. Anyway, back to the subject in hand…’
‘You were the one who digressed.’
‘I did.’ Saffron nods. ‘And I apologize. So, no protection even in these dangerous days of STDs and all kinds of nastiness, but tell me more about this Fred. And more to the point, where is Fred?’
‘He’s in Boston. Back home. He’s gorgeous, Saffron. Exactly the kind of man I would have fallen in love with when I was younger, but he’s young. Thirty-three, and it really was just a fling. There’s no reason for him to know.’
‘You don’t think he has a right to know, given that it is his child?’
‘Saffron, I don’t see the point in freaking him out. I’m never going to see him again. Why ruin his life or give him this information when I’m not going to have this child? Why bother giving him the heartache? My child, my body.’ She sighs deeply. ‘My decision.’
‘So… you haven’t thought about Paul and Anna’s offer, then?’
‘I have. It’s about all I have been thinking about. I just don’t know. One minute, I feel I have to do what’s right for me, however selfish, and I can’t face going through a pregnancy, particularly feeling as awful as this, and for what? Then the next minute, I think about Paul and Anna and how hard they’ve been trying, how desperately they want a baby, and the most wonderful thing in the world would be for me to give them mine. I keep jumping from one to the other. I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do.’
Saffron puts an arm around her shoulders and squeezes for a second. ‘Whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you. It has to be the right one for you. I understand you wanting to make Paul and Anna happy, and I think it’s probably the most selfless, giving thing you can do for a friend, but you would have to be fine with it, have to be fully reconciled, I would think; and, if you’re not, then you know what your decision is.’
They walk for a while in silence until they reach a gift shop that is obviously doing a brisk trade in catering to American tourists. The window is filled with a miniature village, tiny thatched Cotswold cottages, some of which light up, a couple of which play music.
Saffron yelps with laughter. ‘Oh joy!’ She stands outside the shop, smiling with delight. ‘Aren’t they the most ghastly things you’ve ever seen? My American friends will love them!’
Olivia turns to look at her in horror. ‘Because they’re ghastly?’
‘Absolutely. No one I know back in Los Angeles has any taste. They assume they can buy it by employing the best decorators, so all their houses look exactly the same, and they’re all mad Anglophiles – they’d go crazy over this shit.’
They go inside and Saffron quickly sweeps almost a dozen assorted houses onto the counter. The young girl smiling shyly and