Second Chance - Jane Green [73]
So different from her life with Marcus, and her role as Marcus’s wife.
Ah. Marcus.
She told Marcus she was going out, just wasn’t entirely truthful in telling him who with. She mentioned Will, couldn’t lie completely, but told him that there was a group of them going: Paul and Anna, Olivia, a couple of others. ‘It’s such a shame you’re not here,’ she lied to Marcus on the phone. ‘We’ll miss you.’
‘Have fun,’ he said distractedly, and she hadn’t felt guilty about telling him a lie.
Hugs all around at the end of the evening, and Will turns to Holly. ‘I’m going to pop in to drop some stuff off to Mum and Dad tomorrow, and I’m planning on staying for lunch. Do you want to come? They’d love to see you.’
‘Tomorrow?’ Holly looks at her watch, stalling for time. Tomorrow. Marcus is still in Manchester and not expected home before late afternoon. She doesn’t have any plans for tomorrow other than the usual Saturday with the kids.
‘I have the kids,’ Holly says, not sure what Will is saying. Although he is not saying anything other than come and see my parents who know and love you.
‘So bring them.’ Will grins. ‘I’d love to meet them.’
‘Do you want to check with your mum and dad? Make sure it’s okay?’
‘Oh come on, Holly, this is Mum and Dad. You know Mum will have cooked enough to feed an army and, as far as she’s concerned, you’re family anyway.’
‘Will you tell them we’re coming? Make sure it’s okay?’
‘If it makes you happier, I’ll tell her you’re coming. Does that mean you’re coming?’
‘Yes.’
‘Great!’ Will says, and with that they have one last hug goodbye and Holly climbs into her car. She turns the music up and smiles all the way home. She smiles as she gets undressed, smiles as she brushes her teeth, smiles as she falls into bed. It takes her two hours to get to sleep, two hours and an eventual Valium, but even as she lies there replaying every minute of her evening, the smile never leaves her face.
Chapter Fifteen
‘Do they have children?’ Oliver bounces up and down in his booster seat as Holly winds her way through the quiet streets.
‘Yes, darling,’ Holly says, ‘but not your age. Remember Mummy’s friend Tom? He was their son, and also Will, who you’ll meet today.’
‘Mum?’
‘Mummy. Yes, darling?’ She hates that Oliver has started shortening her name to Mum. Every time she hears a Mum, she feels his childhood slipping through her fingers like sand. Such a small thing to try to grasp onto, being a Mummy rather than a Mum, but one that Holly refuses to give up.
‘Mummy.’ Oliver rolls his eyes, unseen in the back seat. ‘Mummy, do you think that Tom can see us from heaven? Do you think he’s watching us now?’
‘I think he probably is, darling. Sometimes I talk to him, and I feel that he’s here with us even though he’s not. I dream about him too.’ Holly has had precisely two dreams about Tom since his death. Both times, Tom just appeared out of nowhere, and Holly, shocked, flung her arms around him saying: I thought you were dead. Tom hugged her and reassured her that he was fine. That he was happy where he was and that he wanted her to be happy too.
She awoke confused but with a sense of peace each time, and although Holly never thought she was one to buy into contact with your loved ones in the afterlife, she is now certain that Tom is watching her, that he is fine and this is his way of reassuring her.
Daisy’s high voice pipes up from the back seat. ‘Mummy, I want to go to heaven. Can I go to heaven?’
Holly shudders. ‘Not for many years, darling.’
‘Silly,’ Oliver reprimands her. ‘Heaven is where you go when you die. You don’t want to die.’
‘I do!’ Daisy insists. ‘I want to die and go to heaven, and there are beautiful princesses there and ponies, and I do! I want to die!’
‘Daisy!’ Holly’s voice is harsher than she intends. Even though Daisy can have no idea what she is saying, she cannot bear Daisy saying that. ‘You mustn’t say you want to die. I would