Second Chance - Jane Green [72]
‘Why me?’ Anna leans her head into Paul’s shoulder as he cradles her gently. ‘Why us?’
He loves her vulnerability, he thinks, as he strokes her back gently and kisses the top of her head, shushing her like a baby, rocking her to make it okay. He loves that she can run meetings with cut-throat skill, has held her own against the toughest names in the business, and has created herself and her business out of nothing. And he loves most that it is not all of who she is.
The Anna he loves has so many sides. She can be tough, unyielding, fierce, soft, gentle and vulnerable all in the same breath. He loves that she is never frightened to show him who she is, like tonight.
He continues to rock her until she calms down. As for her questions – Why me? Why us?–there is only one answer he can think of.
Why not?
‘Shall we go away this weekend?’ Paul says as they gather their coats and thread their way through the tightly packed tables.
‘White Barn Fields?’ Anna smiles grimly. ‘Go and see all the work we have not been able to afford to do?’
‘We could always do it ourselves.’ Paul shrugs. ‘On some level I’m sure it would be a hell of a lot of fun.’
‘Do you think they have the Idiot’s Guide to Renovating Houses?’ Anna smiles, the first genuine smile of the evening.
‘If not, I could always write it and make a fortune.’
‘Now that is the best idea of the night.’ Anna smiles up at him. ‘I do love you, you know.’
‘Even though I can’t afford to keep you in IVF?’ Paul is joking, but Anna sees the doubt in his eyes.
‘Yes, even though you can not afford to keep me in IVF. At least they will never say I married you for your money.’
‘No, it was my good looks and charm.’
‘Actually I think you hypnotized me sometime during that interview. The good news is I am still waiting to wake up.’
‘I love you too,’ Paul says, kissing her on the forehead as he closes his arms around her for a hug, both of them swaying gently on the pavement outside the restaurant, their breath blowing soft clouds in the air. ‘Really, I feel so lucky to have you, to have us.’
‘So are we going to White Barn Fields this weekend with our toolbox in the back of the car?’
‘Let’s do it,’ Paul nods as they start walking towards the car, ‘let’s go down there and get busy. And can I start looking into what’s involved in adoption?’
‘I cannot promise anything,’ Anna says, ‘but yes. I am fine with you starting to look into it.’
‘So what do you think?’ Will leans over and whispers in Holly’s ear so she can hear him, and Holly grins at him.
‘I think your friends are great. The music’s great. I’m having a great time.’
‘So it’s all great?’ Will laughs.
‘It’s all great,’ Holly says, as Will orders another round of beers.
They are sitting in the Jazz Café in Camden. To Holly’s surprise, it is not crowded with people a decade younger than herself, as she had feared. Nor is it ghastly loud music that gives her a headache.
Nor is it an awful evening. She wasn’t sure why she’d said yes. She knew that she would hate it, but she was proving a point. Proving to herself that there was a reason she went to bed at eight and that there was nothing to be gained from pretending to be in her twenties and going to bars to listen to live music and drink with people she didn’t know.
But Will’s friends have been lovely. An electrician who works with Will from time to time, a chiropractor and her journalist husband, and an Australian couple who, like Will, work to fund their travelling. The chiro-practor couple – Jan and Charlie – have four children, and Holly spent the early part of the evening, before the band came on, bonding over shared child-related stories, catching eyes with Will, on the other side of their crowd, chatting to the Australians.
The band is a jazz trio. Not too soft, not too loud. The music is wonderful, and Holly is stunned at how much she is enjoying this: sitting at the bar listening to music, a beer in hand – and God knows when was the last time she sat and enjoyed a beer – a beer! Vodka and tonic is more her speed these days.
She is surrounded