Secret Love - Brenda Jackson [46]
His body devoured her and all of her emotions. His mouth took possession of hers, fueling a need within her. He made love to her as he tried to ignore the demands of his own body, knowing what he had to do before that time came and hoping he would have the control to do so.
Jake gritted his teeth when Diamond curved her body more fully around him. He sucked in a deep groan when she locked her legs around him.
Pull back, his mind commanded, but instead he instinctively drove farther into her when the rhythm of their motions became one. He felt the heat inside him build low in his belly, and flood all the way to his toes.
Pull out, his mind screamed. Now! Jake had every intention to withdraw before he lost control.
And he would have if Diamond had not chosen that exact moment to whisper, “And I love you, too, Jacob,” when the power of passion overtook her body.
Too late. He lost it then—control, focus, all rational thought.
He also lost himself in her as ripples of intense passion tore through him, and he closed his eyes as his body shattered in a long scalding release that jetted into her. He tightened his arms around her as their bodies trembled together, both accepting the love they had never acknowledged to each other, until now, until tonight.
“Marry me, Diamond.”
Jake was amazed at what he had just asked her. It was something he had promised himself he would never ask a woman ever again. At first he thought that he would push only for an affair, but his heart couldn’t let him do that. He needed permanence. He wanted a forever commitment. He craved something with her that he thought he would never want again with a woman.
Diamond lay there, counting the seconds and hoping she had not heard Jacob correctly. She loved him but there was no way she could marry him. Them getting married would lead only to pain and regret.
Jake felt her tense, and a sudden tightness gripped his chest. He refused to let her just walk out of his life and at her silence decided to take another approach. “You might be pregnant. I didn’t protect you this time,” he said. “It wasn’t intentional and in truth it was downright irresponsible, but I don’t regret anything I’ve done with you tonight. If we’ve made a baby, I’ll be happy about it.”
He shifted their bodies to a more comfortable position before continuing. “When I love someone it means a lifetime commitment. I’m not asking you to give up anything to become my wife, Diamond. You have your career, and I understand and respect that. All I’m asking is for you to be my partner in love by marrying me.”
Diamond forced herself to swallow past the lump in her throat. Slowly, carefully, she eased out of Jake’s arms, knowing what she had to say would require distance. She wouldn’t be able to say the words while he was holding her in his arms. She never realized giving up the person you love could hurt so much. She sat up in bed and looked at him.
“I can’t marry you, Jacob. We’ve shared some wonderful and special moments together, but when I leave here next week, I’ll walk away without looking back. I can’t look back, and I won’t.”
Her words hit his heart. They tore into the very soul of him. He remembered a time when another woman’s words had done that very same thing, and his body was about to reerect that shield that had always protected his heart. But when he looked deeply into Diamond’s eyes, he saw the raw pain there. Her lips might be saying one thing, but her heart was feeling another.
“Tell me, Diamond,” he said huskily, determined. “Tell me that you lied and you really don’t love me, that you really don’t care, and I’ll leave you alone.”
Tears stung her eyes, but she didn’t even bother to fight them back. She had a good cause to cry. She was giving up the best thing to ever come into her life, but she knew what she had to do for both their sakes.
“I don’t love—” She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t get the lie she was about to say past her throat. She covered her face with her hands. After a few agonizing moments, she took her hands away and looked at him, seeing how concentrated