Sellevision - Augusten Burroughs [48]
Trish sat against the edge of the desk. “I know it’s not my business, but have you considered seeing someone?”
Peggy Jean perked up. “You mean, like a federal agent?”
“Actually no,” Trish said. “I was thinking more along the lines of a therapist. You know, someone you can talk to who can help you deal . . . with the stress.”
“I beg your pardon?” Peggy Jean asked, incredulously. “Are you suggesting that I see a mental health professional?”
“It couldn’t hurt,” Trish said, crossing her legs at the ankle.
“But I am not the one mailing crucified rats to people.”
“Yes, true. But you are the one receiving them.”
Peggy Jean licked her lips. She just hated Frangelica.
“And, well, you do seem awfully stressed out lately.” Then Trish turned around and picked up the box of Tic Tacs. “And, Peggy—I’ve seen you taking the pills. I don’t know what they are, but I’ve noticed.”
Peggy Jean’s face flushed red with humiliation. “They’re natural—homeopathic pills, like vitamins,” she said, a bit too defensively.
Trish set the Tic Tacs back down on the desk. “Well, I still think it might be a good idea to see somebody, just until this whole thing passes over.”
After Trish left, Peggy Jean waited until her hands stopped shaking before she phoned her other, secret doctor for a Valium refill.
I
nside Control Room 1, the producer directed her engineers. She faced a wall of monitors, and was surrounded on all sides by sophisticated technical equipment: title generators, switchers, a stack of nine Sony Beta video players, an audio mixing console. There were also three Avid editorial stations in the room where editors could cut together promos. Not to mention the all-important “G-spot,” a nickname for the red button that allowed producers to speak to hosts while they were on the air. It was Broadcast News, without the news.
“Five, four, three, two . . . and now!” she said.
Somebody threw a switch.
Cut to ten-second prerecorded program promo.
“I am so sick of pizza. Three nights in a row, God I hate this job,” Rob, one of the engineers complained.
“Camera Two, we’re gonna open with your wide shot . . . ready . . . set . . . three . . . two . . . and . . . Trish.”
“Hi, everybody, and welcome to the O-mazing Oriental Ring Spectacular! My name is Trish Mission, and you’re watching Sellevision.”
“Camera Three, stay as you are—we’re gonna grab that medium shot.”
“We have a lot to talk about this evening, so I want to just jump right on in and start.”
“Doing great, Trish.”
Trish was radiant, her blond hair piled atop her head in an elegant updo. She wore a sleeveless black satin dress that hung gracefully from her shoulders by two spaghetti straps. “Let’s talk bold. Let’s talk solid fourteen-karat gold. Let’s talk—are you ready?—jade. And gold. Together. Mystery and magic, gold and jade.” As she said this, she moved her head from side to side. Already the phones were ringing.
“You’re rockin’, Trish, love the drama.”
“This is item number J-5114—and it’s brand-new tonight.” Trish stared into the camera and let that fact sink in.
“Jeff, gimme some graphics. Camera Three, stay on Trish.”
“This is the double-cross jade signet ring, and it’s introductory-priced at just one hundred and seventy-nine dollars.”
“Camera One, go in for an extreme closeup.”
“Measuring it for you, it’s almost a quarter of an inch across . . . and almost half an inch long.”
“Camera Two, we’re taking that medium shot again. Trish, gimme some more ring-talk.”
Trish rested her elbows on the glossy black table in front of her and clasped her long fingers together. “Gold is a material of the material world. Jade is a material of the spiritual world. And that’s what we have here tonight, this absolutely stunning ring that joins two important worlds together. So whether . . .”
“Great, Trish. Camera One, we’re going extreme closeup again—move frame right.”
“. . . you’re wearing jeans or you’re all dressed up, this ring can take you anywhere. It can make you feel good about yourself, because you know that you’re really treating yourself to something special, and