Shine - Lauren Myracle [79]
“You should feel bad,” I told Bailee-Ann. “You’re cheating on your boyfriend.”
To Tommy, I said, “And you’re breaking the bro code or whatever. But that’s what you like, isn’t it? Going after what’s not allowed? Doing whatever you dang please, and who cares how the other person feels about it?”
He glanced toward the entrance hall, which connected to the staircase. “Cat, my mama’s upstairs. Could you maybe be a little quieter?”
I raised my voice. “Why? You don’t want your mama to know what you’re really made of?” I sounded shrill, like Aunt Tildy when she tried to call Christian back last night. Hearing myself made me tremble all the more. “Does Bailee-Ann know? Does she know how you went after me all those years ago, when I was just thirteen?!”
My words hit the air, and hung there, and then slowly faded away, like a church bell that’s been rung way up high in the bell tower. It was silent except for my breathing, which was quick and shallow and made it sound like I was panting, which I guess I was. Tears pricked my eyes. I lifted my chin and blinked them back in.
“Um . . .” Bailee-Ann said. She bit her bottom lip and glanced at Tommy.
Tommy nodded wearily.
“I do know,” Bailee-Ann said. Her words were round with compassion, but I didn’t want her compassion. I stared straight ahead of me. I thought about rats and staying alert.
“Tommy and me talk about everything,” Bailee-Ann went on. “And we both are sinners. We know that.” She got up off the sofa and crossed the room to me, kneeling at my feet. “We pray about it, and we lift our sins up to Jesus. We try to do better.”
“You’re not trying very hard if you’re sneaking out and spending nights together,” I said. “Knitting hats for little babies isn’t going to erase that.”
“Well, you’re right,” she said heavily. “You’re right about that.”
“Get up off the floor, Bailee-Ann,” I said. “For heaven’s sake.”
She did, only to scrunch onto the armchair beside me. Her skin was warm. “Tommy?” she prompted. “Don’t you have something you want to say to Cat?”
Good Lord, the last thing I wanted was an apology from Tommy. At least I didn’t think I did. Did I?
My eyes darted toward his, and I saw that he was just as uncomfortable as I was. Good, I thought.
“I, um . . . yeah,” Tommy said. He ducked his head. “I’m sorry for treating you like that, and I shoulda told you before. And your brother was right to blow up my motorcycle. I deserved it.”
I couldn’t absorb this, Tommy’s regret. Daddy’s pistol was digging into my spine, so I pulled it out and held it in my lap.
“You got a gun?” Bailee-Ann said. “What you got a gun for?”
“Aw, hell,” Tommy said. “You ain’t gonna shoot me, are you?”
“You shot Ridings’s cow,” I said numbly.
Tommy stared at me as if I was a mad dog that might bite at any moment. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident.”
“You shot his cow and somehow persuaded him it was lightning,” I said stubbornly. “That is low, Tommy Lawson, shooting a man’s cow and not even owning up to it.”
“I did own up to it!” he said, agitated. He glanced at the gun and lowered his voice. “Maybe not to the whole world, but me and Ridings, we worked things out.”
“That’s not how Ridings sees it. Why didn’t you give him money for a new cow?”
“He did,” Bailee-Ann said. “He paid to have Rosie butchered—it was heartbreaking, I know—and he gave Ridings money for a new cow. But Ridings spent all the money without even knowing it. It went to Wally, that’s my guess.”
I frowned, because as guesses went, hers was a decent one. I didn’t like that version of the story, however. I lifted my chin, waiting for more.
“They were out in the woods, Tommy and Beef and Dupree,” Bailee-Ann said. “They were high.” Her tone grew disapproving. “Dupree had scored some crystal, and they were lit out of their minds.”
“Shut up,” Tommy grumbled. “And I wasn’t aiming for Ridings’s cow. I was aiming for the bell around her damn neck.”
“Of course you were,” I said.
“He was showing off is what he was doing,” Bailee-Ann scolded. “Bragged