Sloppy Firsts_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [44]
If I didn’t projectile-vomit all over him.
So I lingered outside the door to homeroom, hoping to catch him as he walked in. I waited through the five-minute bell. I waited through the warning bell. At the final bell, I went to my seat. I told myself that it wasn’t uncommon for him to shuffle to his seat a minute or two late. But by the time we got to the pledge, I’d lost all hope.
Marcus never showed up for homeroom. Maybe I would’ve known that if I hadn’t lost the mouth.
Of course, it was Sara who broke the news.
"Omigod! Did you hear about Kripsy Kreme? He got some girl to fake his drug test last week!"
I almost launched my Cap’n Crunch.
It turns out that there was a way for the docs to tell that the pee came out of a girl and not a guy—a hormonal thing. It took them a few days to get tipped off. Marcus must have been called down to the office right after he gave me the origami mouth. There, his parole officer, Principal Masters, and good ol’ Brandi confronted him about the faked sample. They knew it wasn’t his, but they wouldn’t know who it came from unless he told them.
"So far Marcus has refused to tell who he got it from," said Sara, positively beside herself with this juicy gossip. "They threatened him for hours, supposedly. But he wouldn’t cave."
"How do you know all this?"
"My dad went golfing with Principal Masters."
"Oh."
"And he asked me for ideas on who it could be, you know, since I’m a fountain of information."
Jesus Christ.
"I suggested his girlfriends, the ones I could remember," Sara continued. "It’s probably not any of them, though."
"Why?"
"Because the faked sample was drug-free."
"Really?"
"Which means his partner in crime was someone like you …" She paused, for approximately a half hour. "Or me."
At that moment, I knew that I was going to get caught. And my life was going to be destroyed. And for what? To prove to everyone they were wrong about me? Brilliant. But I wasn’t ready to fess up. Not yet.
It took every ounce of strength that I had to act normal and respond to conversation about this subject as though I were a totally uninvolved observer.
"What kind of chickenhead would help him pass his drug test?" said Hy.
"An insecure one," I said.
"He must be really good in bed," said Manda.
"I doubt he promised sex," I said.
"Burke says that he’s seen Marcus in the locker room and that he’s got like, ten inches of New Jersey Whitesnake," said Bridget.
"What?" all four of us asked.
"He’s got a huge penis."
"Oh," said Hy.
"Oh!" said Manda.
"Oh?" said Sara.
"Whoa," said I.
It was exhausting.
The Clueless Crew aren’t the only ones talking about it. Everyone has theories on what Marcus said to the secret donor—that he promised her drugs, or a date. Of course, I didn’t correct them. I didn’t tell them that I know he wouldn’t be so crude. That he just asked her in a way that only Marcus could ask. Putting his hand on her knee. Promising to return the favor. Grinning.
the ninth
I have survived the most nerve-racking five minutes of my life.
I had gotten used to acting innocent around the Clueless Crew and everyone else. It was as easy as breathing.
Then I got called out of class.
"Could you send Jess Darling down to Principal Masters’s office immediately?" said the fuzzy, disembodied voice of Mrs. Newman over the PA system.
The whole class looked at me with wonder. I made a big deal out of shrugging and wearing a What’s this all about? expression.
On the walk to the office, I kept hearing Marcus’s words over and over again: I won’t narc on you. I won’t narc on you. I won’t narc on you.…
When I got to the office, Principal Masters was waiting for me. He greeted me with a smile and a "So sorry to pull you out of class." But I knew from watching enough interrogation scenes on TV cop shows that his warm countenance could be a setup.
"I’m sure you’ve heard about this incident with Marcus Flutie, correct?" Principal Masters asked