Sloppy Firsts_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [43]
As I was walked into the hall, I felt a gentle shove from behind. I looked back, and for the first time I wasn’t surprised to see Marcus. He apologized with that grin of his, pressing one hand into the small of my back and the other on my waist to "steady" himself. Before I even had a chance to ask what had happened (not that I would have) he passed me by, a gleam in his eye, leaving behind his sweet, woodsy smell.
"Omigod! He’s so messed up, he can’t even walk in a straight line," snapped Sara.
You have no idea how much I wanted to tell her to—omigod!—shut the fuck up.
I’d only taken a few steps when I felt a bulge in my back pocket. Fortunately, Sara saw the Clueless Crew down the hall and ran to catch up with them. In those split seconds of solitude, I reached back and sure enough, there was a piece of notebook paper, folded into an intricate origami square that opened and closed like a flower. Or a mouth.
Marcus! I was dying to open it.
But at that moment the Clueless Crew were coming right at me from the other end of the hall. Damn them! I stuffed Marcus’s present back into my jeans. I needed privacy for whatever he wanted to tell me.
The huge irony of ironies is this: For someone who feels so alone, I couldn’t get a moment by myself all damn day. Every time I tried to slip away—to my locker, to the bathroom, to a shower stall before gym—someone would find it absolutely crucial to strike up a conversation with me. That note burned a hole in my back pocket for almost six hours. I was in such anticipatory agony that I didn’t even change back into my school clothes after last-period gym class—I ran straight home and up to my room.
"Jessie, I want to talk to you," my mom said as I dashed up the stairs.
"Give me a minute!" I yelled back as I locked the door.
I opened up my backpack and pulled out my jeans. I stuck my hand into the back pocket and pulled out … lint.
"Jessie?" my mom called from the kitchen.
I quickly shook out the other pockets, though I knew I hadn’t stuffed Marcus’s note in any of them. Then I rifled through my backpack, eventually dumping out its entire contents onto the floor.
"Jessica!" my mom yelled.
Now I started to panic. My ears got hot and I started to sweat. Where could it be? Whose hands could it have fallen into? I got on my knees and picked through every object on the floor: jeans; striped V-neck tank; bra; Chucks; The Catcher in the Rye; two spiral notebooks; Chem book; Student Council schedule; three Baby Ruth wrappers; calculator; highlighter; stick deodorant; Carmex; brush; an assortment of pens.
No origami mouth from Marcus.
"Jessica Lynn Darling, get down here!"
I went downstairs, clutching my stomach—this time for real. A ball of anxiety was bouncing up and down inside my body, but I lied and said it was my period. Mom was so relieved by this news that she let me go without a struggle when I asked to be excused to my room. Here, I have rifled through the aforementioned objects approximately a bizillion times for the past ten hours.
How could I have possibly lost the most important thing that has ever been given to me? The only logical explanation is this: There never was an origami mouth from Marcus. I made it all up just to drive myself crazy. In fact, I made this whole thing up. I never peed in the cup. No way. Not me. Why would I do something as totally insane as that?
Maybe if I keep telling myself this long enough, I’ll believe it.
the sixth
I arrived at school today with a mission: To find out the message inside the origami mouth. I knew there was no hope in retrieving it, so there was only one option left. An option simultaneously terrifying and titillating.
I’d ask Marcus what it said.
This would be a big deal for all the obvious reasons (I’m me, he’s Marcus Flutie.… It could draw unwanted attention to my crime.…) plus one more. See, this would mark a dramatic departure from our previous exchanges. Up to this point, he