Sloppy Firsts_ A Jessica Darling Novel - Megan McCafferty [99]
the twenty-eighth
The operator said, "Collect call from Marcus. Do you accept?"
As if I had a choice in the matter.
"I accept."
"Thank you," said the operator and Marcus simultaneously.
"Marcus, where are you?"
"Still in Maine with my brother."
"Why are you calling?"
Was he calling just to chat? Was he calling for no reason at all? Just because … ?
"Mia broke up with me," Marcus said. "This is a first for me."
My head pounded, knowing that this meant things were about to become a lot more complicated. Or easier. Depending on the way you looked at it.
"She did? When?"
"She mailed me a Merry Christmas-I’m-Breaking-Up-with-You card. I’ll read it to you," he said. He cleared his throat. "Dear Marcus. Merry Christmas. I’m breaking up with you. Mia."
"It does not say that."
"You’re right," he said. "But it would be so classic if it did."
"So why did she break up with you?"
"Well, she said it’s because I’m no fun. I don’t drink or drug anymore, so I’m no fun. I go to AA meetings instead of hanging out, so I’m no fun. And I do homework instead of having sex, so I’m no fun. I guess she wanted to break up with me before New Year’s Eve so she could finally have fun."
I was too busy thinking about him doing homework instead of having sex to reply.
"The reason I’m calling is because I need to spend New Year’s Eve with you."
Need. Not want. Need.
"Why?"
"Can’t you hear the devastation in my voice?"
"No," I said. "You sound holly-jolly to me." He really did.
"It’s all an act," he said. "I need to be consoled."
"By who?"
"By who?" he said, insulted. "By you, of course."
Of course. Consoled. Consolation prize. Runner-up. Second best. Oh, wait. Not sloppy seconds. Sloppy firsts.
"So I’ll see you on New Year’s Eve," he said, hanging up before I could refuse.
the twenty-ninth
Reasons Why I Should Not Have Sex with Marcus Flutie
1. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Hope by telling—or not telling—her.
2. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of fulfilling the "Fall" prophecy.
3. I don’t want to be just another donut—I’d rather be remembered as the one girl he couldn’t have.
4. I don’t want to destroy this weird whatever relationship we have.
5. I don’t want to end up proving the naysayers right.
6. I don’t want to embarrass myself with my lack of ability.
7. I don’t want him to see my sorry boobage.
8. I don’t want to get pregnant. (This is highly unlikely since I haven’t ovulated in over a year, but knowing my luck I’d get knocked up anyway.)
9. I don’t want to catch some nasty-ass STD that he has possibly contracted from one of his Hoochiest lays.
10. I don’t want to get caught because no way my last name will save me.
Reasons Why I Should Have Sex with Marcus Flutie
1. I want to. Oh, God, do I want to.
the thirty-first
So it was settled. New Year’s Eve was Devirginization Day. D-Day.
I even had the perfect outfit. The anti-homecoming dress. Just one long unzip down the middle and I was ready for action. In theory, that is.
"I told you you’d have a reason to wear that," said my mom, popping her head into the bathroom as I wiped off the mascara I had just jabbed onto my cheek. "Who is this boy you’re going out with?"
"He’s just a friend from my classes, Mom." I hoped she didn’t notice how badly my hands were shaking.
"Does this friend have a name?"
I hesitated. I’d already lied about our destination—a party at Scotty’s house—and I didn’t want to push my luck. If I didn’t tell her, she’d torture me until I did.
"His name is Marcus," I said, reapplying the lip gloss I had already chewed off. "Marcus Flutie."
"Marcus …" She tapped her finger to her forehead. "Marcus Flutie. How do I know that name?"
She probably recognized it from the police blotter.
"He’s really smart, possibly a genius," I said. "Maybe you know him from that."
"Is he smarter than you?" she asked.
Is he smarter than me? I wondered. "Maybe," I decided.
"He