Something Blue - Emily Giffin [77]
His neck muscles twitched. "We'll talk about it at home, okay?"
"No. We'll talk about it now!" I shouted, but Ethan looked resolute, and I was afraid of pressing my luck. I wanted the truth too much to jeopardize pissing him off. It took all of my resolve, but I managed to keep my mouth shut the rest of the way home.
When Ethan and I arrived back at his flat, he disappeared to his bedroom, possibly to call Rachel and seek permission to divulge her dirty little secrets. I paced in the living room, wondering what he was going to tell me. How bad the truth was. After a few minutes, he returned to the living room and began rummaging through his CDs. I took off my jacket and heels and sat cross-legged on the floor, keeping my face placid, as I waited for the truth. The whole truth. Ethan calmly selected a Coldplay CD, turned the volume higher than I thought appropriate, and sank into his couch. He gave me a steely gaze. "Okay. Look," he said over the music. "I'm really tired of this shit, Darcy. I am really, really sick of it."
"So am I," I said, reaching over to turn down his stereo.
He held up his hand as if to warn me that interrupting was not an option.
"So we're going to discuss this tonight and then never again, okay?"
"Fine," I said. "That's all I wanted in the first place."
"Okay. When Rachel came here to visit me, she told me that she… that she had feelings for Dex."
"I knew it!" I said, pointing at him.
"Are you going to listen or not?"
I swallowed hard and nodded.
"And she had been having those feelings for some time, but not that long a time."
"How long?"
"A few weeks… maybe a few months."
"A few months?" I shouted.
He gave me a look of warning, as if he were poised to exit the conversation. Sorry. Go on.
"I don't have much else to say."
"When did they first hook up?" I asked, petrified of the answer, but needing to know just how big a fool I had been.
He paused and then said that he didn't know.
"I can tell you're lying," I said. "I know you know!"
"What I do know is this," Ethan said, dodging the question. "Rachel didn't want to feel the way she did. She was in agony over the whole thing. She had every intention of going back to New York after her visit here and being your maid of honor. She was prepared to move on, force herself to get over Dex, and be your friend. Which is more than most people would do in her shoes."
My heart pounded in my ears. I was fixated on one thing. One fact. "Give me a date, Ethan. When did they first hook up?"
He crossed his arms and exhaled loudly.
"Was it before or after Rachel's birthday?" I asked. I honestly don't know what made me pick that date. Perhaps because Rachel's birthday is in late May, always coinciding with the start of summer. I could have just as easily said Memorial Day. But I didn't. I said, "Rachel's birthday," and by the look on Ethan's face, I knew I had hit the jackpot. My mind raced back to the night, how I had thrown a surprise party for her. Suddenly, I remembered with horror how Dex hadn't come home until nearly seven in the morning. How he had said he was with Marcus. And how Marcus had backed him up. They had all lied to me! My fiance had spent the night with my best friend! Months before I had ever cheated on him!
Suddenly everything came into sharp focus: Dexter's later-than-usual nights working, how Rachel had dragged her feet during my wedding plans, and the July Fourth weekend! My God, Rachel and Dex had both stayed home from the Hamptons! They had been together that entire weekend! It was too horrible to be true, but I was certain that it was true.
I laid it all out for Ethan who didn't deny a thing. He just looked at me, without a trace of compassion or remorse.
"How could you, Ethan? How could you?" I sobbed.
"How could I what?"
"How could you be friends with her? How could you take me out with those people who knew the whole story? You made me look like a fool! All of you were probably laughing behind my back!"
"Nobody was laughing behind your back."
"Yeah, right. That mad cow laughed up a storm."