Something Blue - Emily Giffin [78]
"Phoebe was a bit rude. I'll admit that."
"And admit the rest! Admit that Rachel told all of you what she was doing to me."
He hesitated and then said, "Her relationship with Dex did come up. But obviously I didn't think you'd ever meet Martin and Phoebe. And besides, we weren't discussing the situation in a 'ha ha what a fool Darcy is' kind of way. It was more of a 'gosh, how bad it sucks to have feelings for your best friend's fiance' sort of way."
"Right. She really suffered."
"Well, didn't you suffer when you started seeing Marcus? While you were still with Dex?"
"It's not the same thing, Ethan."
How was it that everyone had such difficulty grasping the obvious difference between cheating on one's fiance and screwing over your very best girlfriend?
"This isn't about me and Dex. It's about me and Rachel. And I would never have done that to her," I continued, feeling shocked that my mousy friend had it in her.
He looked at me, folded his arms, and cocked his head with a knowing smile. "Really?"
"Never," I said, taking mental inventory of Rachel's utterly unappealing ex-boyfriends. Her law school boyfriend and most significant ex, Nate, had a unibrow, sloping shoulders, and an effeminate voice.
"If you say so," Ethan said skeptically.
"What is that supposed to mean? I have never, ever tried to steal one of Rachel's boyfriends."
He smiled an oblique, private smile. I knew what he was driving at: I had hooked up with Marcus even though Rachel was interested in him.
"Oh, give me a freaking break, Ethan. Marcus was not Rachel's boyfriend! They had kissed, like, one time. It was never going to go anywhere."
"I wasn't thinking of Marcus."
"So then what were you thinking of?"
"Well… I just think that you would do the same thing to Rachel if the circumstances presented themselves. If you had fallen in love with one of her boyfriends, nothing would have stopped you from going after him. Not Rachel's feelings, not the stigma of taking your best friend's man. Nothing."
"No," I said firmly. "That's not true."
Ethan continued. He was on a roll now, leaning forward on the couch, thrusting his index finger at me as he talked. "I think you have a long, long history of going after exactly what you want, Darcy. Whatever that is. Come hell or high water. Until now, Rachel has always played second fiddle to you. And you shamelessly let her do the whole lady-in-waiting routine. All through high school she was at your beck and call, letting you show off. You liked it that way. And now that it is all over, you can't handle it."
"That's just… not true!" I sputtered, feeling my face burn. "You're being so unfair!"
Ethan ignored me and kept going, now pacing in front of his faux fireplace. "You were the star of the show in high school. The star of the show in college. The star of the show in Manhattan. And Rachel let you shine. Now you can't step back and be happy for her."
"Be happy for her for stealing my fiance? You've got to be kidding me!"
"Darce—you did the same thing. It might be a different story if you were deeply in love with Dex, if you hadn't cheated on him also."
"But they did it first!"
"That is beside the point," he said.
"How can you say that?"
"Because. Because, Darcy, you never examine your own behavior. You just look to blame everyone else."
He then proceeded to bring up this ancient history from high school. Like why I had applied to Notre Dame when I knew that it was Rachel's dream to go there, and how crushed she was when I got in and she didn't.
"I didn't know she owned Notre Dame!"
"It was her dream. Not yours."
"So let me get this straight, she can go after my fiance, but I don't have the right to apply to a stupid college?"
He ignored my question and said, "While we're on this topic, Darcy, why don't you tell me one thing… Did you really get in there?"
"Did I get in where?" I asked.
"Were you or were you not accepted at Notre Dame University?"
"Yes. I was," I said, almost believing the lie I had told all of my friends so many years ago. Notre Dame had been Rachel's first choice, but I